"People watch from the safety of your phone"
O.J. Simpson’s face looked less guilty than this chick’s. I love when the comment comes up that if the paternity test is negative, she’s getting sued by Biebs and if it’s positive, she might be charged with having sex with a minor. You put yourself in one hell of a position there toots. Sprinkle a little bit of crack of her and let’s get the hell out of here. Open and shut case Johnson!
Have I honestly been out of school for this long that I had no idea this was going on? Is our world this fucked up that this sounds even remotely close to a good idea? The whole point of drinking for me in school was to play drinking games, blackout, and throw up…all to do it over again the next night. What ever happened to beer pong, or Kings, or quarters? No. Let’s stick a tampon covered in Popov up my ass and call it a good time. And kids are also funneling beer through their ass? Kids are clearly fuckin pussies nowadays and I’m glad I didn’t go to school and have to witness this. I’ll tell ya right now, if I were a parent and I got that call I wouldn’t even go to the hospital. Fuck that. I would make my kid sit on the side of the road like this mother, holding a sign saying ‘I THOUGHT PUTTING ALCOHOL IN MY ASS WAS FUN. NOW I HAVE A LEAKY SPHINCTER AND I HAVE TO WEAR DIAPERS.’
SubwayCreatures 