Month: January 2012

Bloomberg Bets The House With Boston Mayor On Super Bowl Outcome

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NYPost: With the Super Bowl less than a week away, Mayor Bloomberg and Boston Mayor Thomas Menino announced a friendly wager today on who would win the big game between Big Blue and the New England Patriots.

If the Giants win, a New York family will win a Super Tour of Boston. They will receive:

— Four tickets on JetBlue — A two-night stay at the Ritz Carlton — Dinner for four at Legal Seafoods Harborside — Dinner for four at the Top of the Hub restaurant — Four tickets to a performance at the Citi Performing Arts Center — Four box seats at a Bruins or Celtics game at the TD Garden  — A behind-the-scenes-tour of the newly expanded Isabella Stewart Gardner museum — A Duck Tour ride — A VIP tour of the personal diaries of John Adams, which inspired the HBO series, at the Boston Public Library. — A VIP tour of the Samuel Adams Brewery in Jamaica Plain — A photo with Menino

If the Patriots win, one Boston family will win a Super Tour of New York City. They will receive:

— Four tickets on the Delta Shuttle — A two-night stay at the Grand Hyatt — Dinner for four at the newly reopened Russian Tea Room — Lunch or dinner for four at B. Smith’s restaurant — Four club seats at a Rangers or Knicks game — Four tickets to the Phantom of the Opera — A ride with the captain on Statue Cruises to Liberty and Ellis Islands with a VIP tour of the Statue of Liberty crown and museum, including lunch — A VIP tour of the new American wing at the Metropolitan Museum of Art — A VIP tour of the Brooklyn Brewery — A photo with Bloomberg

The winners will be chosen through an online lottery system. More information about how to enter will be available from the losing city after the Super Bowl. “New York sports teams have a history of cleaning up when they go to Boston – and now our fans will have a chance to do the same,” said Bloomberg, who will attend the game in Indianapolis. “Any New Yorker not too tired from salsa dancing Sunday night will be able to enter an online lottery for the chance to win.”

“I have a lot of faith in the Patriots. They carried us this far, and I hope they’ll carry the Vince Lombardi Trophy right back to Boston,” added Menino. “But either on the field or off, the City of Boston wins by being able to showcase some of the best our great city has to offer.”

 

Listen to our goddamn mayor! Just beating his dick and letting it spray all over Boston. ‘Any New Yorker not too tired from salsa dancing Sunday night will be able to enter an online lottery for the chance to win.’ Just as confident as the Giants are right now and I love it! We already have Giants flags flying on the trolleys in San Fran and now we’re gonna have Giants fans roaming the streets of downtown Boston in Manning jerseys acting like they give a fuck they are there. Bring on the Pats!

Remote Controlled Flying Humans Might Not Have Been The Best Choice To Use In Downtown NYC

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Fuckin hipsters drive me crazy. Always trying to be ironic and do their hardest to not “fit in.” So I guess since the #OWS movement is over, they need to find a new way to waste their time. Hey! Let’s go down to where the World Trade Center used to stand and fly remote controlled planes in the shape of humans! Yea! And then it’ll look just like on 9/11 when people really were flying through the air! Or we can go near large, famous bridges that people jump off each year! Yea! It’ll be totally artistic!

I mean don’t get me wrong, these things are kinda cool but the location they chose makes one scratch their head. Goddamn hipsters always gotta kick the hornet’s nest.

Mother Gives Birth To Baby On Way To Hospital NSFW??

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Well look at what I found! Imagine looking down and there’s a baby in your pants? This has to have been the calmest, most laid back child birth ever. No pushing or pain. Just ‘Hunny, our kid just fell out.’ The only thing I can honestly say ‘thank god’ for is the fact that she was sitting down. She’s clearly so loose that the kid woulda just fell out onto the floor. Hopefully they got to the hospital safely (as long as the driver stopped filming) and the baby is OK.

Side Note: How about in 10 years when this kid has the awkwardness of watching himself get spit out of his mom’s vagina on the Whitestone Bridge on Youtube. Love to watch the ‘reaction video’ to that.

Bill Cundiff Can’t Catch A Break; Even On His Own Team’s Website

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Yahoo!Sports: Is there no safe place left on this earth for Billy Cundiff? Not even the Ravens’ very own website can stop from poking Cundiff with a sharp stick. This wasn’t a message board or a comments section, either ‒ it wasn’t even an editorial piece. It was the team’s web store. Of course, the organization might still be a bit bitter about the 32-yard field goal Cundiff missed at the end of the AFC Championship game. That miss prevented a tie that would have taken the game to overtime in the New England Patriots’ eventual 23-20 win, but the pass Lee Evans lost in the end zone on that same drive would have put the Ravens in the Super Bowl, and you don’t see mean things about Evans in the web store. It’s a rough life, this kicking thing.

 

Ouch, $107.99 for a Billy Cundiff jersey?! They probably couldn’t give those things away right now let alone pay that much for a kid’s version of it. When you’re own team’s website posts something like this, it’s time to leave town and move on. Wonder what Kyle Williams jerseys are currently going for?

New Cologne Helps Cheating Husbands Mask Smells

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HuffPost:

Thanks to groundbreaking innovation in the aftershave industry, men making excuses about their strip clubs visits can now have smells to back them up. Metro reports that Mavericks strip club in South Africa has launched a line of “Alibi” aftershave products designed to make men smell the way they would if their excuses for staying out late were actually legit. “My Car Broke Down,” for example, smells like fuel, burnt rubber grease and steel, according to Metro. But Margy Bons of Operation Homefront told KNXV the cologne is unlikely to keep women from sniffing out the truth. “If he’s coming home at 1 o’clock in the morning, I don’t care. You can wear Alibi all you want, we’re still gonna have to look for that alibi,” Bons told the station. Also doubtful of the product’s usefulness, JOE’s Amy Wall notes that other, more traditional options are already available to sneaky men. “Apparently people would actually wear an aftershave that smells like burnt rubber,” Wall wrote. “We wonder why they wouldn’t just take a shower instead?”

 

And who are the men that this product is made for? The men that are unfortunately married to these women who remind me of ‘The View.’ Christ, how annoying are they? Know-it-alls who think it would never happen to them and they could sniff out a cheater a mile away. It’s all giggles and jokes during this segment, meanwhile their husbands are showering themselves in Alibi as they speak. ‘If your husband is out there buying Alibi…you know! There’s no secret there!’ Yea, that’s why you won’t know if he’s buying Alibi. Because he won’t tell you just like he won’t tell you that he’s had his face buried in a stripper tits all night. ‘Yea, but you can’t hide the bottle!’ Hiding the bottle isn’t the hard part, it’s the glitter on my face I would be worried about.

Side Note: Since when were strip clubs such a bad place for married men to be? Big deal, he’s watching a naked chick dance on stage. At least he’s not out banging your best friend behind your back. You can only cage an animal for so long…

 

Is The ‘Yoga Pants Pageant’ One Of The Greatest Things To Happen To Man?

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Let’s break this down, shall we?

First off, let’s rate these chicks in order of hotness. Starting from left to right I got 3,2,1,4,5

Best actual yoga position:

Best improvised yoga position:

Best improvised yoga position name: The “Come On In”

Best answer given: Pretend you have Courtney Stodden and Spencer Pratt tied up and gagged with a pistol and only one bullet. Which one would you kill and why? 

“I believe I would put them back to back and go for the neck and kill them both.” (Perfect answer)

Who looked best in yoga pants:

Chinese Play Hot Potato With Live Grenade

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Fuckin’ Chinese are crazy people…like when the hell will this ever be relevant in combat? If Jun Tao hands you a live grenade, instincts should tell you to throw that thing immediately, right? Not hand it to the next guy like you’re the best man at his wedding and wait for it to go off. How in the hell is this country so much more technologically advanced than us?! Makes for one hell of an end zone dance though, huh?