Archive for March 30, 2012


I’m pretty sure at this point even the bums asking for change in the subway have gotten their hands on at least 1 Mega Millions ticket. Good luck and have a safe weekend!

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Biggest lottery payout in the history of lottery payouts and I’m sitting pretty with a $5 ticket. Already had some ideas about what I’m gonna do with my winnings which should come out to around $1 cajillion after taxes. In no specific order:

- Build my own fuckin’ Chocolate Factory with strippers instead of Oompa Loompas

- Throw Rex Ryan an offer he can’t refuse to immediately go in hiding and never show his face in the NFL again.

- Buy Staten Island and drop a nuke on it.

- Drop Pairs Hilton and Kim Kardashian on the ‘Lost’ island

- Buy a lifetime supply of Chips Ahoy! Chewy.

- Buy a helicopter to take me from uptown Manhattan to downtown

- Buy Hugh Hefner’s Playboy Mansion

- Buy the moon

What would you do…?


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