Day: November 7, 2012

Bully Takes Baseball Bat To The Head

subwaycreatures

 

Ding! That sound kinda reminds me of opening day in Little League, right? Like when you get your first hit of the season and the butterflies go away and you know it’s gonna be an all star year at third base. Although in this case Ding! means you’re probably gonna do 2-4 years for assault with a deadly weapon unless you can pull off some miraculous self defense angle. The worst part about it is that after Canseco-ing this kid to the head, he dropped the bat and let the dead kid’s friend tee of on him a couple times. As long as you nailed one, you might as well take’em all down. Especially the cameraman who’s got your whole trial on his iPhone.

I Always Wondered What It Looked Like To See A Crane Drop A Brand New Locomotive

subwaycreatures

 

This kind of makes up for that goddamn crane on 59th St in Manhattan during Hurricane Sandy. I waited a week for that fucker to drop and suspense just kept building and building and it never fell. I’m like a little kid when it comes to that shit and I was dying to see what kind of destruction it would cause and you know what I got? Nothing but blue balls. Sandy can come in and wipe out half the east coast but she can’t take down a pussy little crane. What a bitch.

You Shouldn’t Get This Drunk In The Public Wearing This Kind Of Dress

subwaycreatures

 

We all know the back story here. Some rich dude brought this chick to the horse race as arm candy and by the end of the first race she could barely stand up she was so drunk. Right around when she starts swinging at random people is the point he hopes she wanders out onto the track during race 2 and ironically gets trampled by horse #9 Anotheronebitesthedust. Instead, she’s carried out by security with her cooch flapping in the wind and everything documented for the world to see.