"People watch from the safety of your phone"
Hahaahahahahahahahaha! O-M-G! What a knee slapper! Get it?! You totally almost got eaten by that shark! I guess comedy is a little different in other countries because I’m pretty sure that’s 10-15 for attempted murder here in the states. Like telling dirty jokes and giving wedgies must be so lame for these guys. Throwing their friend at an incoming shark is the only way to get a laugh out of them. Tough crowd.
So here’s what AskMen claims to be their top 20 most desirable women of 2013. 20) Claire Danes 19) Naomie Harris 18) Olivia Munn 17) Zooey Deschanel 16) Cheryl Cole 15) Emilia Clarke 14) Christina Hendricks 13) Blake Lively 12) Sofia Vergara 11) Candice Swanepoel 10) Michelle Jenneke 9) Jessica Pare 8) Jessica Gomes 7) Kristen Stewart 6) Miranda Kerr 5) Emma Stone 4) Rihanna 3) Kate Upton 2) Mila Kunis 1) Jennifer Lawrence.
Now I’m not sure what exactly ‘desirable’ means in this case but if I’m making a top 20 list, it would look a lot different. A few I can agree with but for the most part here’s what I’m going with and I doubt I’m alone:
Olga Kurylenko doing yoga gettin’ us over the hump today. Happy Hump Day!
5. This robotic arcade game thingy. Who wouldn’t want this?
4. Never skied a day in my life. These make me want to start…
3. A waterproof pool table? That you can actually use in a pool? Yes please!
2. Indoor Virtual Golf. I mean why the fuck not? Play a round and not even have to leave my home? Of course I want this!
1. Candice Swanepoel. I really don’t think this is asking for a lot so someone please make it happen.
It’s blatantly obvious who the dead weight is here. Runner #2 moves about as fast as…well, I guess you can say a midget on a race track. Save me the bullshit of ‘well their legs are too small’ cause that last guy must be like the Usain Bolt of midgets. Little man turned on the after burners and actually caught up to the camel to make it a race. And what kind of half ass retarded camel did they put these guys up against? That thing came rounding the corner like someone broke it’s leg but still made it race.
Oh college how I miss thee. Times, however, appear to have changed a little bit. Butt chugging is now a thing as well as stuffing alcohol soaked tampons in your ass. I don’t get it but who am I to judge? This is coming from the guy who smoked chewing tobacco out of a bong for some reason. Anyway, this kid is one hospital visit away from a news press conference to deny he ever had a tube funneling beer into his rectum.
And on that note…have a safe weekend everyone!
I posted something like this a while back. I guess this is newer footage or a different show. Don’t need to watch much to know the director is an acid-head insane psycho with some freaky sexual fantasies.
Guyism: In Case You Needed A Reason, Don’t Do Meth
BroBible: 13-Year Old Russian Girl Can Bench Press 198lbs
TheChive: Boy, That Escalated Quickly [Photos]
HuffPost: Mother/Daughter Plan To Do Porno Together [SFW]
Deadspin: Denarius Moore Of The Raiders Ran The Wrong Way Last Night
Gothamist: L Train Perv Shows Dick To Straphangers [NSFW]
SitchNews: Woman Takes Shower At Car Wash To Clean Pants
DailyMail: Nurse Who Was Pranked By Radio DJs Into Giving Kate Middleton Info Found Dead
Egotastic!: Claudia Galanti Is Someone I Wanna Get To Know [Photos NSFWish]
EgoTVOnline: Cars Crash At Russian Wedding
EliteDaily: Why All Women Are Lunatics
WorldStarHipHop: McDonald’s Employee Smoking Weed Out Of Drive Thru Window
Adweek: It looks like New York Jets quarterback Tim Tebow is finally getting a starring role. Unfortunately for him, it won’t be on the field against the Jaguars this Sunday. It’s in this new ad for TiVo. The company announced in two videos last month that Tebow would be its new brand ambassador—and not just because his name sounds almost identical to its own. “He is a highly Googled, highly buzzed-about, talked-about athlete as there is in the world,” CEO Tom Rogers told Bloomberg. “We’re going to make much better use of him than the Jets have this season.” Well, have they? The new spot opens with Tebow lounging in a spare living room with two children explaining that they just got a TiVo. “Mom did a TiVo search on you … Now, whenever you’re on a show, any show, it gets recorded,” says the sister. “And then, she watches you in sloooow-mo,” chimes in the shaggy headed little brother. “My dad is not your biggest fan right now,” says the girl. “I can’t see why,” Tebow replies with a smile. “TiVo makes TV about a thousand times better,” he says in the closing voiceover. If this whole football thing doesn’t work out, he won’t have acting to fall back on, either.
My name’s Tim Tebow and I don’t know what to do with my hands right now and for some reason I keep shrugging my shoulders to make my talking look more animated! Jesus Christ TT, I’d say don’t quit your day job but that doesn’t seem to be working out for ya either. Watching these TiVo ads is like walking in on your parents having sex. I’m just cringing at the awkwardness of him trying to read lines and answer questions not related to football or the bible. Tim just relax! This is about the most action you’re going to see all year minus the sweat you break praying before game time. Make the best of it because this is most likely your future talking to a camera and not playing football in front of it. Tebow, makes Tivo…about a thousand times more awkward.
-Thanks to John at AdWeek for this
SubwayCreatures 