Posts Tagged ‘crazy’

 

Hey, she’s probably just possessed, that’s all! What. The. Fuck?! Note to self–eating Pringles with a ponytail on the subway may trigger zombie-like behaviors from crazy bitches.

 

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As Looney Tunes as they come right here. Notice no one acknowledging or saying a word to him. Must be a train full of locals because that’s rule #1 on the subway. Keep your head down and mouth shut!

DNAinfo Chicago: Police were called to the 1000 block of West Granville Avenue about 12:45 p.m. Saturday after they received reports of a woman who was “not fully clothed” yelling at people on the train, said Sgt. Antoinette Ursitti, a police spokeswoman. A 31-year-old woman was taken into custody by police at the Granville “L” Station, and no one was injured in the incident. Red Line trains were delayed as the woman was taken into custody, and were running normally by 1:15 p.m. The woman suffered from a mental illness and was taken to St. Francis Hospital in Evanston, Ursitti said.

Chicago bringing it hard today! Crazy weather, crazy people, crazy city. I want to see video of this bird–someone send it over!
UPDATE: Ask and you shall receive! You knew there had to be a video of this in 2013. Well…here it is.

 

And what did you learn on your field trip today hunny? Welp, drugs are dangerous and people will do just about anything on them and for them.

Side note: Unfortunately for these kids, nothing they see the rest of the day will top this. This hipster asshole is burned in their memories forever.

 

I have no idea what rhubarb is but how fucking adorable is this woman?! Kind of a combination of The Exorcist and the old lady from The Goonies. It almost makes me think this isn’t real it’s so priceless. Commenting any further would not do any justice so I’m just gonna watch it about 10 more times.

By far my favorite line: “Don’t call me sweetheart, hunnybun. What are you a lezzie!?”

BoingBoing: On May 10th, a completely naked man entered the 16th street BART station in San Francisco and began attacking people, spitting, urinating and doing gymnastics moves on railings and turnstiles. BART police eventually shut down the station to arrest the man.

 

No matter who you are commuting in SF on this day, it’s a terrifying scene. When a guy is this hopped up on drugs (probably PCP), common sense and pain go out the window. Straight up zombie style. You can punch, kick, and hit him and he’ll keep coming at you. I’ve seen cases where tasers and pepper spray don’t even work. Not sure how they got the LMFAO guy down but I definitely wouldn’t hang around to find out. Scary stuff.

 

As I watched this I began to think, now which guy is crazier–the one clearly off his meds or the cameraman who’s blatantly got a camera in Honky Man’s face? Then I realized that there were two kinds of crazy occupying the same space. The guy sitting down is psycho crazy and the cameraman is ‘I don’t care if I die today’ crazy. Also, when will black people realize that yelling racial obscenities towards white people is completely pointless. Louis CK stated it best:

 

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EliteDaily: A Chinese student was so eager to profess his love for a woman that he bottled up his sperm and sent it to her. The woman, 19-year-old Zeng Lin, mistook the semen for moisturizer, and began applying it to her face before noticing it smelled peculiar. When the girl discovered what it was, Lin called the police, and Gou Wen, 22, was forced to compensate her with £200 ($300 US). “I love her so much but she didn’t know it and I didn’t know how to tell her, so I did that thinking it was the ultimate way to show love,” Wen said. “Now I know I was wrong, but I will find another way.”

 

First things first. That’s the penalty for sending a girl a cum bucket? $300?? A) where does that number come from? B) How often does this happen that they have a fine for it? Next line of business is this guy loving this chick so much that he thinks sending her his bottled man goo is the best way of telling her. I give him credit for the original idea but maybe next time stick to a card or flowers. A bottle of baby batter might come off a little serial killer-ish. Fuckin Asians man…

Side note: Was I misinformed when I was told semen was actually good for the skin or is that just the kind of girls I’ve been dealing with?

 

WFMZ: New video has surfaced of a Berks County man fleeing police and jumping into the path of a moving train. The cell phone video was captured by a 69 News viewer and details exactly what happened on the train tracks late Friday night in Spring Township. According to police, the man in the video is Nevin Walls, and he was fleeing from a uniformed officer. Just before midnight Friday, police were called after Walls, 31, wearing only boxer shorts, was acting disorderly in the 2200 block of Penn Avenue. Walls ran into the parking lot at the Redner’s Quick Shoppe and started screaming and yelling, police said. Then, he got into a car with a woman and child and demanded she drive away, said police. When an officer attempted to get in the vehicle, Walls ran up the embankment, raised his hands and jumped toward the approaching train, said police. “Anybody that knows him knows he wasn’t in a right mental state,” said Shaine Pachilis, who has been friends with Walls for more than 15 years. Pachilis claims Walls suffers from severe mental problems. Remarkably, he did survive. He was found lying between the rails and taken to Reading Hospital. According to Pachilis, he’s since been transferred to the University of Penn in Philadelphia.

 

Well that turned into an easy arrest. There’s gotta be nothing scarier than being a cop and getting the call that a crazy is running around the 7-11 parking lot in his boxers. You could literally see that cop stalling for time when Looney Toons tried to carjack that woman and her baby. Now, getting run over by a locomotive has to be one of the worst ways to go out because there’s always the chance you could just get your legs run over and survive through the pain. Sure enough that’s what sounds like happened here. The crazy lives to see another day.

 

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Stop the presses! How do you continue with this boring news story after that statement? You HAVE to ask followup questions on that! Well crazy lady, how did the vacuum man see your tits? Did you show him? Did you have to pay him to see them? Have you taken your meds today? Speaking of which, what meds are you on? Why are you dressed like a Sesame Street puppet? And how did you lose your license for the last 3 years? Did it have to do with tits or meds? And do we want to see your tits? No, but thank you for the offer.

Sidenote: How long before this gets the auto-tune treatment, if it hasn’t already?