Posts Tagged ‘joke’

 

“I am sofa king we todd it”

 

There are a lot of small things in this world that make me laugh–this being one of them. How does he not get it? Maybe he really is retarded?

 

 

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I guess that’s one way of acquainting your child with her surroundings. Tell her her older brother is dead in a country where she probably sees people get blown up every 5 seconds from IEDs anyway. Kid is going to be completely desensitized by her 4th birthday. Maybe it’s for her own good?

 

How about this guy, huh? About as predictable as a herpes outbreak. How do you liven up a boring British awards show? By making everyone think you just killed an old wheelchair ridden lady by sending her into the front row. Awesome.

 

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Nothing like an awkward Knock, Knock joke to set the mood for a murder trial, huh?! I’m not sure what improv stage they yanked this guy from but if George Zimmerman ever had a chance at seeing freedom, I’d say that’s out the window now. I’m no lawyer or law school grad but I feel like cracking (bad) jokes in the beginning of an enormous murder trial is in the ‘How To Be A Lawyer 101′ handbook. What I wanted to see what the camera on George Zimmerman when the punch line was delivered. Probably just put his face in his hands and debated on pleading insanity. He was better off with this guy:

 

Patreeek! Patreeek! Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!! Good one Patrick but be careful cause next time the joke is on you when your Middle Eastern friend in the back blows up your precious little plane.

 

Hahaahahahahahahahaha! O-M-G! What a knee slapper! Get it?! You totally almost got eaten by that shark! I guess comedy is a little different in other countries because I’m pretty sure that’s 10-15 for attempted murder here in the states. Like telling dirty jokes and giving wedgies must be so lame for these guys. Throwing their friend at an incoming shark is the only way to get a laugh out of them. Tough crowd.

 

People who deserve stuff like this: this guy, hipsters, any kids who stick alcohol covered tampons in their ass, and the Kardashian family. What do you even get out of this prank? You layed down in front of a soccer mom van which was probably carrying a mother who had 3 screaming and fighting kids in it. Of course she’s not going to notice the asshole who just layed down in the intersection. The only shitty part is that your head wasn’t lined up with that front left tire.

 

Pull this shit on me and Rick McGuire might have to knock a little girl out. Pretty awesome prank!

 

Yo my bad! I was just dressed as a zombie, pretending to eat a person in the middle of the street. I didn’t think you’d actually get scared and drive into a parked car.

 

Wow, must be a lot of Mike De Santos’ out there. Pretty funny to see how far people will actually take it when they are lying their asses off. I love the alcohol excuse, it’s usually my go-to.