This is what the infomercial for the Finger Nose should look like:
Have trouble using your iPhone in the bath?! How about when reading? How about when you’re just too goddamn lazy to use your hands?? Well Finger Nose is here to make sure you look like the biggest asshole in the world. Just strap this fuzzy dildo to your nose and point, click, and scroll away! Sure you won’t have many friends and girls will avoid you, but the fact that you’ll be able to multitask outweighs all of that!
Just the fact that this is a real thing and someone is probably making millions off of clinically depresses me. Fuckin’ thing should come with a guy who shows up and punches you in the nuts when you open the box. In fact I’d love to be that guy so if Finger Nose is hiring, please shoot me an email ASAP.