What. The. Fuck.
Let me just say that I grew up playing hockey my whole life and I’ve seen tons of crazy hockey parents just like this guy. Hell, my uncle chased a kid into a locker room after a dirty hit and the cops had to be called. It happens. I’ll tell you what doesn’t happen though–being able to punch your fist through plexiglass. That shit is borderline bullet proof and the fact that this guy was able to make it look like a picture frame is scary. The refs summed it up perfectly. Everyone get off the ice and someone call 911 while I’m still alive!
Gothamist: No matter how many times we have to beg, straphangers seem to insist on bringing their snakes on the subway. This week’s subterranean serpent story comes courtesy of one C train rider, who spotted a man with not one, but two snakes at around 11 p.m. last night. TWO SNAKES. Of course, the seasoned subway rider sitting next to our fair snake charmer seems completely nonplussed, even in the midst of what appears to be an intimate moment between Man and Snake. Eric Hertzog, who snapped the above photos, tells us the photo was taken on a northbound C train, and that the snake owner disembarked at 14th Street. “The guy was sitting there with a girl (don’t know what their relationship was) and at first he had a smaller snake just hanging from the railing while another snake was in between his legs. He then took the smaller snake off the railing and was just playing with them for a little. When people got on the subway they all looked over in that direction and probably said to themselves, “What the hell.” One man almost sat right next to the guy but the man with the snakes let him know that were snakes on his lap and then that guy ran to the other side of the subway car. He then put the snakes in separate bags and then both into his backpack and off he went.” Please note that it is indeed illegal to expose your snake on the subway, since MTA rules mandate that “no person may bring any animal on or into any conveyance or facility unless enclosed in a container and carried in a manner which would not annoy other passengers.” The Tale of Two Subway Snakes was first picked up by KTU 103.5 FM, who asked if this was “The Scariest Thing You’ve Ever Seen On The Train?”
“Enough is enough! I’ve had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking train!” -kinda Samuel L. Jackson
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Just a guy who talks like Hannibal Lecter and walks around with a rooster chained to his dong. Nothing out of the norm for NYC. I’d say it’s a matter of time before we see this guy wandering around the subway!