Month: October 2011

Sex Offender Fined $200 For Kissing And Groping Cardboard Cutout Model

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TheBershireEagle.com

PITTSFIELD — A convicted sex offender admitted he kissed and fondled a cardboard cutout of a woman, which was part of a North Street pharmacy’s advertising display. Charlie J. Price, 57, of Pittsfield, pleaded guilty to a single count of disturbing the peace, subsequent offense, and was ordered to pay a $200 fine by Central Berkshire District Court Judge Fredric D. Rutberg. Saturday around 5 p.m., Price, who was allegedly intoxicated, walked into the Rite Aid pharmacy, “grabbed hold of the sunglass display, hugged it tightly and then began to lick and kiss the face of the female party on the display,” according to a Pittsfield Police report. This behavior lasted about a minute, according to police, and ended when Price fell to the floor. He eventually got back on his feet and began yelling and screaming, according to the police report. Meanwhile, Price’s behavior apparently scared customers who “actively” tried to get away from the area. Price was arrested by the Pittsfield Police. Price is a level 3 sex offender, and therefore is considered to be at a high risk for reoffending. In 1991, he was convicted of indecent assault and battery on a child under 14. Last year, he was convicted of open and gross lewdness and lascivious behavior, according to the Sex Offender Registry Board.

Jesus, for $200 this guy coulda dialed up a chick from Craigslist and actually had human sex. I’ve been pretty drunk before in my life but I’m pretty sure not drunk enough to be making out with cardboard cutouts in a pharmacy. I hope they didn’t keep that whore standing in the middle of the pharmacy though because that’s just embarrassing after being sexually assaulted. Wrap her in a blanket and throw her in the rape shower.

Pre-Released Inmate Has Sex With Girlfriend On Bus In Front Of Everyone

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TSG:

A Pennsylvania couple is facing an assortment of criminal charges for having sex on a city bus, carnal activity that was captured by the vehicle’s surveillance camera. According to a police criminal complaint, Amanda Confer, 24, boarded the bus on a Friday afternoon in late-August. She was “accompanied by her infant daughter,” a detective reported. Also riding the bus through Montoursville that day were “Pre-release inmates” Randell Peterson and Joshua Schill. The men were part of a work release program that allows inmates to come and go from the county jail at specified times. Investigators allege that Confer and Peterson, 32, sat next to each other in the rear of the bus, with Schill sitting in front of them. Before the illicit action commenced, however, Confer “turned over her infant daughter” to Schill, who apparently served as babysitter/lookout during the subsequent rendezvous. In short order, Confer and Peterson moved from hugging and kissing to oral sex (which was provided by Confer). “After a couple of minutes of oral sex,” Detective Alberto Diaz reported, Confer “lowered her underwear” and, “upon sitting on” Peterson’s lap, “both defendants proceeded to have sexual intercourse for several minutes.” Shortly after the tryst ended, Peterson and Schill exited the bus together, while Confer continued to ride on with her daughter.

Reason #1,233 why I don’t ride the goddamn bus. The only good part was that this guy was coming from prison so you know it didn’t last longer than 1 minute. I’ve actually seen a chick giving some dude head on a bus once but it was at night when the lights were out and the windows were tinted. That makes it a little bit better but still, come on! I’ll give ya props if you can pull this off and it would make for a great story but what about when the bus has cameras and you’re a pre-released inmate? This chick should get more time than the guy cause you know she instigated all of this. How do I know this? Oh yea I forgot to show her facebook status.

One Of The More Intense Videos From Any Of The #Occupy Cities

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I wasn’t sure if I was watching a video from #OccupyOakland or Saving Private Ryan. Bombs going off everywhere, people yelling for a medic, one guy was shot by something…Oakland handles their protests a little differently than everyone else. Imagine if this happened in NYC? Just complete anarchy everywhere. Speaking of NY, a lot of people keep asking me if I think the protesters will make it through the winter down there. Does everyone not realize that those are hippies/hipsters down there? This is what they live for and I’m sure they’ve been in worse conditions. If anything, the same people who are feeding them for free down there will provide them with some kind of warmth and drag this thing out. I’m sure Bloomberg is praying for another blizzard like last year to clean house.

87 Year Old Man Busted For 229 Pounds Of Blow

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Detroit Free Press:

For attorney Ray Richards, it was a first: an 87-year-old man with muttonchops charged in a major drug bust. “This will be my first actual drug case where the accused is this old,” Richards said of his latest client, Leo Sharp. Sharp of Michigan City, Ind., was in federal court in Detroit on Monday after being arrested during a traffic stop near Ann Arbor. Police said they found 104 kilograms, or 229 pounds, of cocaine in his pickup. That’s at least $2.9 million worth of cocaine in wholesale value, police said. In court, Sharp did not offer a full explanation about what happened. But at one point, he tried telling U.S. Magistrate Judge Mark Randon that he was forced at gunpoint to haul the cocaine, until his lawyer stepped in and advised him to just answer the judge’s questions. Richards said this was Sharp’s first time in the federal court system, and his client likely was confused by the questioning. According to Richards, Sharp, who is married with children, works full-time growing legitimate, exotic plants for a horticulture company in Indiana. According to court records, a state trooper pulled Sharp over on I-94 near Ann Arbor on Friday for following too closely and improper lane use. The trooper asked Sharp for permission to search his vehicle, but Sharp refused. That’s when Apollo, a drug-sniffing dog, was called to the scene and found the cocaine stashed in black bags in the bed of his pickup, records show. Sharp is charged with conspiracy to possess with intent to distribute cocaine. If convicted, he could be sentenced to at least 10 years in prison. “A cocaine seizure that rises to the level of 100 kilograms would be considered significant,” said Rich Isaacson of the U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration. Sharp, who was released on bond, said he wants to write a book about his ordeal. 

 

Can’t wait to hear this guy’s story. I’ve seen a few episodes of ‘Breaking Bad’ and that’s all I could think of while reading this. He’s probably got some huge lab that he’s making all this shit in with naked hookers weighing everything out. Grandpa Ray bumped a few lines out before transfer and before he knows it he’s pulled over for ‘following too closely’. Always seems to be something this dumb you get busted for and now he’s gonna be spending the rest of his short life behind bars writing about it.

Please Don’t Tell Me ‘Batmanning’ Is The New ‘Planking’

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As if planking weren’t bad enough now we have to deal with this shit? I hope every person who does this lives the rest of their lives paralyzed in a wheelchair. Why? Because they deserve it. It’s that simple. Why is everyone so surprised when they fall and land on their head? That’s the only way down once you’ve got yourself in that position. Stupid people really piss me off sometimes, but then again I wouldn’t have a job so keep up the hard work assholes.

MTA Plans To Rid Subway Of Trash Cans To Solve Rat Problem, Wait What?

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amny.com

It seems ironic: to cut down on trash on subway platforms, the MTA is considering trashing garbage cans. The cash-strapped agency may remove all the cans from some platforms if everything goes well with a test-run underway at two stations. The MTA is banking on riders to take their trash with them, or simply bring less of it. If the pilot program — which began two weeks ago at the 8th Street N/R station and Flushing/Main Street No. 7 station — is successful over the next two months, it could roll out to other stations. “It’s just an experiment to see how much we can reduce the amount of refuse that we pick up,” said John Gaito, the MTA’s vice president and chief officer for subways. “We expect people to bring garbage, but we’d like them to bring less food. … Food attracts rodents.” The test is being done in response to the agency’s difficulty picking up the approximately 8,820 garbage bags each day across the system, Gaito said during Monday’s transit committee meeting. Eight trains and six trucks haul away trash each day at an annual cost of approximately $32 million, but refuse trains still miss one-in-three scheduled stops because they’re filled up or running late. The station cleaner at the 8th Street station likes the lack of trash bins, Gaito noted, but the cleaner at Main Street isn’t a fan because he has to personally tidy up after straphangers. “We don’t mind picking up things like newspapers,” Gaito said, adding they account for nearly half of all garbage collected. “We’d prefer papers instead of food.” Transit advocates and straphangers were left scratching their heads when they were told about the experiment.

I was never great at math in school but someone please correct me if I’m wrong. Garbage cans + subway = rat problem. No garbage cans + subway = no rat problem? But where does the garbage go then? Oh, on the tracks and on the actual subway cars themselves. Got it. Here is the line that you gotta love if you are a daily commuter: “The MTA is banking on riders to take their trash with them, or simply bring less of it.” Sometimes I’m just not sure if the people of MTA have ever actually been in the subway. On what planet do you think we live on that NYers will bring less trash into the subway because they are thinking ‘oh there’s no garbage cans down there I probably shouldn’t bring this with me.’ I’d love to see the result of your little experiment on 8th St. when people are being overrun and attacked by rats like those Cloverfield aliens.

And seriously MTA, if you’re so ‘cash strapped’ why the hell are you trying to install internet in the subways right now? Probably at the bottom of the list of things to do right now.

Waffle House Brawl In Alabama

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There was a lot of red in this fight and I don’t know if it was because of the Crimson Tide or gang related so I’ll be careful with what I say. Really wish I had a translator who spoke southern black though cause I didn’t understand one word in this video. I’m gonna start with the little guy who, as always, talks a mean game when standing behind his boys and just gets stomped out. You gotta pick and choose your fights little man and I didn’t see any 6th graders around so this wasn’t your fight.

Chairs, glass, body slams…this fight had it all but I’m just curious about why IHOP’s and Waffle Houses are always the venue for these brawls. Is it worth it to stay open late night for these places when once a month you’re replacing everything in your establishment? Just wondering.

Urbanathlon This Sunday!

millertime31

Forget all those pussies who do Tougher Mud, or Ultimate Warrior Dash, or whatever stupid name is given to those races where people make it seem impossible because you have to run and crawl through a shitty forest.

Leave it up to NYC to host one of the most intense wacky races I have ever read about called URBANATHLON!

This race will have it’s contestants running through thousands of tires, climbing over taxis, over buses, and running through police barricades.

And to top it all off, contestants also must run up and down stairs at Arthur Ashe Stadium and Citi Field.  Which will probably look like the 6th inning of every METS game this past year, with their fans running towards all the exits.

I personally can’t wait to do this race, I’ve been training for 6 months and I am so ready…. And if you believed that, you should probably go play in traffic, because the only exercise my fat ass is doing this Sunday is going up and down my steps from my TV Room to the kitchen as I get another beer while watching the Bills game.

But if you are interested, check out: http://www.menshealthurbanathlon.com/