Month: October 2011

Man Saws Off Parking Meter In Front Of Parking Cop

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We’ve all had one of those days where nothing seems to go right no matter what. This guy hit his breaking point and I love this! He did what every single one of us has always wanted to do when in this situation. Excuse me. Are you giving me a parking ticket? The meter expired? What meter? [cue chainsaw]

And I know Halloween is right around the corner but goddamn! If I were that lady parking cop and that serial killer lookin dude came near me with a chainsaw I would be latched onto the trunk of that cab yellin ‘floor it!’ No way in hell do those parking cops get paid enough to handle these situations. She absolutely shit herself and will think twice next time she gives a bearded man wearing a jump suit a parking ticket.

Halloween Comes Early For City Subway Creatures

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Well..I know what I’m being for Halloween this year. Can’t tell you how many times this has happened to me growing up when I wore glasses and they always seemed to be in the most obvious places. Worst part is that usually you can’t see without your glasses which makes finding them even more fun. Lady, did you check the top of your head? Yes? OK, don’t freak out we’ll get you through this. Wait…I said don’t freak out…

NY Jets Outlook: Week 7

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With a must-win Monday night game, the Jets sloppily got the victory over the winless Miami Dolphins. I’m pretty sure if Derelle Revis wasn’t on the team that game could have gone either way but they walked away with a W none the less. A new week, another opportunity for Rex Ryan to open his mouth and bring as much attention to himself as possible. This time he called out San Diego Chargers by saying that if he were coach he would’ve had two rings by now. Um Rex, you have 0 rings since joining a much better Jets team so I’m not sure you’re winning this argument. Anyway he apologized so all is forgotten right? Jets go into this Sunday’s game +2 at home and if they play like they did last Monday then that spread is heavily favoring the Chargers. I like the over at 43.5 in this game and I don’t know that the Jets D can hold down Ryan Matthews in the back field. I like Chargers -2 and I’m going against the Jets for the second time this year which means they will probably pull off some kind of OT win. Quote me.

405 San Diego Chargers -2  -110 -135
43½ O -110
U -110
406 New York Jets +2  -110 +115
Week 7

Baby Makes Amazing Escape From Crib

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Was this an infant or a midget? That little bastard scaled the crib like Spiderman and almost stuck the landing! I’m gonna go ahead and call them Pinky and the Brain since the other retard has absolutely no idea what’s going on and his twin brother has blueprints to take over the world. Clearly we see who got the smart jeans in the womb. The kid even has the wherewithal to nab the evidence of the camera recording his every move! Who is this kid?!

My brother pulled this kinda shit when he was a baby only he took the destructive route and shook his fuckin crib like a Japanese earthquake. He went on to play football and now he’s a cop so if that tells us anything about this kid’s future, he might grow up to be the next Daniel Ocean.

Side Note: How do you sleep at night if you’re this kid’s parents knowing your son is probably scaling down the side of your house and hot wiring your mini van parked in the driveway?

Streaker Poses As Ref To Get Onto Field, Bench Clearing Brawl Ensues

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Well, some positives and some negatives to look at here. This guy goes to Arizona and just went down in the history books for sneaking onto the field by way of referee uniform and causing a bench clearing brawl between both teams. If he doesn’t get more pussy than he knows what to do with then I’ve lost all faith in college sluts. On the negative side, he’s now going to jail in nothing but his underwear so with the good comes the bad.

The Hot Chicks Of #OccupyWallSt???

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I came across this video mislabeled “The Hot Chicks of #OccupyWallSt.” These are the hot chicks that occupy wall st?? No wonder they are accomplishing nothing. Everyone knows you need to get a bunch of smokes out there if you’re really going to send a message! And I don’t wanna hear about that inner beauty, hippie bullshit. Hey #Occupy, if this is what you’re running with you better get at least 1,000 more of these:

Side Note: If you REALLY think this chick is in Zuccotti Park for #OccupyWallSt you’re smoking more than the hippies occupying Wall St. Look at what she’s wearing and that pose she gives in the video. She’s 100% there for the media attention and hoping she gets noticed. She knows EXACTLY what she’s doing. Well I ain’t gonna hate and I noticed ya hun. Keep on keepin’ on!

Geeks Finally Take Medieval Play To Another Level

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How do you take something really gay and make it somewhat cool? Endanger people’s lives of course. Fuck the cardboard and Styrofoam, I love the idea that someone can get hurt here. I mean don’t get me wrong, you still won’t see me out there in costume but I might be that guy who shot the other guy in the nuts when no one is looking just to send a reality check.

Qaddafi Looks Great…For A Dead Guy [NSFW]

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cbsnews:

Fugitive Libyan dictator Muammar Qaddafi was killed in fighting around his hometown Thursday, a top official in Libya’s transitional government said, citing reports from fighters who claimed they saw the body. Information Minister Mahmoud Shammam said he expects the prime minister to confirm the death soon, noting that past reports emerged “before making 100 percent confirmation.” The transitional government called a news conference in Tripoli, where Prime Minister Mustafa Abdul-Jalil could confirm the death. Past reports of Qaddafi deaths or captures have later proven incorrect, but an increasing number of Libyan officials have confirmed the news. Al-Jazeera TV showed footage of a man resembling Qaddafi lying dead or severely wounded, bleeding from the head and stripped to the waist as fighters rolled him over on the pavement.

I always wonder why when a big name figure dies in a foreign country, they insist on treating the body like ‘Weekend at Bernies.’ The idea is to show everyone he’s dead and you make him look like me hungover on a Sunday morning. The confirmation for me though is that second picture. Not sure if they plucked his eyes out but you’re just looking into a lifeless, soulless body. Anyway, did anyone catch that World Series game last night?