Month: February 2012

Rescued Dog Bites News Anchor In Face

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A dog rescued from an icy pond in the US may be put down after it bit a news anchor during a live television interview. Kyle Dyer was rushed to hospital after being bitten by Max, an Argentine Mastiff, on a Colorado’s 9NEWS morning program on Wednesday morning. Max was on the show after being pulled from a freezing reservoir by a firefighter on Tuesday after it fell through the ice while chasing a coyote. Dyer suffering bite wounds to her face and is in a “fair condition” at Denver Health Medical Centre. “I just adore dogs, but I’m especially happy to meet you after your story yesterday,” Dyer said to the mastiff as she patted him during the interview. “You’re gorgeous.” As the interview ended Dyer leaned in towards Max in a show of affection but the dog bared its teeth and snapped at the news anchor before owner Michael Robinson was able to restrain it.  Max’s owner will be cited for leash law violations, not having control of the dog and not vaccinating it for rabies. The animal is not showing signs of rabies but may be put down anyway.

 

This is the side of those obnoxious ASPCA commercials they don’t show you. You try to pet the dog and it decides to bite your face off. Shoulda left it in the frozen water cause now it’s right to the gas chamber right after the show. Love the reactions from everyone in the studio though. Trying to stay professional while this chicks lip hangs off her face like she had a stroke. Since the firefighters don’t budge from their seats, let’s kick it over to Gary for weather!

“OK…alright…OK.” Nice save Gary! Next time try not to react like you just walked in on your parents having sex.

Woman Unnecessarily Shaving Man’s Head On The Subway

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This is the kind of bullshit that pisses me off. Attention seekers just trying to piss everyone off. You see her turn around and smile at the camera? You’re not even homeless so why would you do this here? Hey hun, I think he’s good. You’ve been buzzing his scalp since Queens and at this point I’m just waiting for the blood to start trickling down his face. It almost seems like she’s getting off on this which is even more bizarre. Get a room.

Patriots Get ‘Decapitated’ And Christ Does It Feel Good!

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Woke up this morning with a smile on my face, ate some Wheaties (breakfast of champions), whistled all the way to work, and read in the paper that Gisele divorced Tom after the game last night, only to get turned down by Eli who left her in the dust of his new Corvette. And check out Brandon Jacobs. Trying so goddamn hard not to swear or say the wrong thing on national TV that ‘decapitated’ was the best thing that could come out of his mouth. Yea, the big guy didn’t contribute much but that doesn’t change the fact that he has a ring on his finger.

Highlights of the game. Brady throws first pass away for the 6th ever safety in a Super Bowl. Gronkowski completely useless. Weatherford most pumped up player in the game. Cruz salsa dancing. Welker drops biggest catch of his career. Manningham makes biggest catch of his career. Bradshaw awkwardly squats on goal line. Giants defense keeps Brady in check for most of game. Hail Mary to end game gives America a universal heart attack.

I’m not sure that this game was better than 2008 considering the circumstances but goddamn what a road it was getting there! Ticker Tape parade tomorrow at 11am. See you in the Canyon of Heroes!

Super Bowl Weekend Is Here And I’m So Excited I’m About To Shit My Pants

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It’s been 2 long weeks, tons of Patriot shit talking, and 50 Giant song remixes later but Super Bowl weekend has finally reared it’s fuckin head. Never in my life have I wished a Friday to be a Sunday more than right now. I’m so pumped for this game that I actually feel bad for the people I’ll be around this weekend because it’s probably the only thing I’ll be talking about. Giants go in as a 3 point underdog which is exactly where they want to be. Yea, they might have cooled off a little bit after being on fire for the last 4 weeks but even after a cool down they are better than the Pats.  Everyone outside New England including every animal that would be on Noah’s Ark that are predicting a Giants win this Sunday. Yea I sound cocky but haven’t the Giants given every NY fan a right to be? Hardest schedule in the NFL and they are playing in the Super Bowl? If you need me, I’ll be setting up camp in the Canyon of Heroes for a great spot to watch Eli carry the Lombardi Trophy down to Gracie Manor. I said it last time and I’ll say it again…all in? I’m fuckin’ balls deep!

By the way, this never gets old…