A 72-year-old Teaneck, New Jersey resident was taken into custody by police last night after he reportedly aimed a gun at a neighbor who farted outside his door. Daniel Collins and the unidentified victim, 47, live in the same apartment complex, and had apparently been feuding for “some time” over “noise complaints” prior to yesterday’s incident. According to Det. Lt. Andrew McGurr, Collins snapped and pulled out a handgun after “hearing [his neighbor] pass gas in front of his apartment door.” He denied brandishing a weapon, but upon searching his vehicle, police officers uncovered a .32-caliber Taurus revolver under the front passenger seat. Collins was subsequently charged with aggravated assault, possession of a weapon for an unlawful purpose, unlawful possession of a firearm and making terroristic threats.
Looks like a simple fart was the straw that broke the camels back here. And don’t tell me ‘wow that musta been a huge fart for him to hear it.’ No, no, no. I live in an apartment as well and my walls are paper thin. I can hear my neighbors conversations through my wall like I’m in the room with them. Not the best of situations but you turn the TV up or play music and problem solved!
Sidenote: Thank Christ my neighbors don’t own a gun. I know this cause they would’ve shot me by now.