OK, put Michael J. Fox filming aside for a second, is this not one of the most ridiculous trailers you’ve ever seen? Fuck the Hess Truck, get me this thing for Christmas! When I saw the beginning of this video I was like why is this dude backing his half truck, half boat into the water. Then I watched the truck give birth to that boat and my jaw dropped. Thing I don’t get is how you go through all the trouble of having such a sick trailer and then have such a shitty boat. Throw a cigarette boat on the back of that bitch and we’re in business!
So I was talking to my cousin about ‘Would You Rather’ and decided maybe I’d give it a shot every Thursday on CSC. If you have any ideas for a good Would You Rather feel free to submit them to subwaycreatures@gmail.com and we can feature them. Here’s todays:
Would You Rather:
Be joined at the hip for life with Rosie O’Donnell (no surgery in the world could ever separate you two)
OR
Live your whole life as Jake Tucker from Family Guy with upside down face and everything you see will always be upside down?
Pretty sure that motorcycle is still flipping as we speak. Never really seen a speed bump in the middle of an intersection before but then again never seen a hot Mexican woman stripping on the subway either. Weird place, this Mexico.
Deadspin: It is confirmed, per Richard Deitsch. ESPN’s newest star, the lady who worked her way from being a ESPN Zone hostess to college football sideline reporter, is getting hitched to the Vikings’ second-year quarterback.
Goddamn it Christian Ponder! Give a man a chance! Sam Steele is on the scene for 2 seconds and you’re balls deep in the her. Next thing you know you’re throwing a ring on her finger and calling her Mrs. Ponder. But you know what, I’m gonna look at this optimistically. One less threat out for me. Sam I still see you and when your boy loses his starting job and you catch him bottoming out in Erin Andrews, don’t say I didn’t tell you so. The guy has Tiger Woods Syndrome written all over his face.
It’s been a crazy couple days down in the NYC subway. But it has to be absolutely terrifying to be on this train when Yokozuna is bull rushing through a crowd of people wielding a Bic in everyone’s face. And you gotta love the woman who tries to talk sense into this crazy like ‘don’t you have kids?’ You think that’s what was running through her head when she was searching through her bag for a shank and the best thing she could find was a pen? This is the 6 train during rush hour. Nope, no kids! Now bring that bitch front and center so I can fillet her like a fish!
I always become reluctant to think these are real because why would someone be filming this guy riding his motorcycle from a distance? Then again why would someone crash like that and risk serious injury as well as destroy his bike?
Gawker: A freelance photographer working for the New York Post on an unrelated assignment happened to be standing on the 49th Street station platform when 58-year-old Queens resident Ki Suk Han was suddenly pushed onto the tracks by an as-yet-unidentified assailant. The photographer, R. Umar Abbasi, snapped at least two photos of Han before he was run over by the downtown Q train. The married father-of-one sustained critical injuries and was later pronounced dead at Roosevelt Hospital. One of the haunting photos Abbasi took graces the front page of the Post this morning, incurring the ire of readers who want to know why no help was extended to the injured Han in lieu of capturing the moment for posterity. Abbasi claims that he was using his camera’s flash to warn the train’s conductor, possibly suggesting that the photos were incidental. The Post further defends Abbasi, saying he wasn’t strong enough to lift Han off the tracks.
Here is the fight moments before the accident:
Nothing like waking up and grabbing a paper to see Glenn from The Walking Dead about to get lit up by an incoming Q train. I have a feeling that Umar Abbasi was trying to alert the conductor as much as the 9/11 terrorists were trying to safely land those planes, but that’s just me. Gotta love New Yorkers though, right? Guy falls onto the tracks and everyone pulls out their iPhones to snap pictures like Asians in Times Square. Ki Suk Han may not have been saved but at least there will be enough pictures to create a flip book of the entire incident. And I don’t know what the pre-push argument was over, but no one deserves to be pushed onto the subway tracks…with a train coming…at 25 MPH…weighing a cajillion tons.
Huff Post: OAKLAND, Calif. — Comic Katt Williams is being sued over his onstage meltdown and aborted performance in Oakland. The suit filed by 35-year-old Brian Herline, of Modesto, says he and hundreds of fans were disappointed when Williams took off his clothes and challenged people to fight. Herline is seeking class-action certification in an effort to get ticket money back for all audience members. A representative for Williams has refused to comment. The Williams meltdown came two days after he was arrested on charges of attacking an aspiring rapper on his tour bus outside a downtown Oakland hotel. He was later released with no charges filed.
Man, Katt Williams is certainly going through some shit right now, huh? Beating up rappers, getting into bar fights in Seattle, an on-stage meltdown, and just lawsuit after lawsuit. You especially know it’s bad when your friends come out on stage to apologize for you and their only excuse is that Katt went overboard on crazy drugs. Hope your weekend was better than his!
SubwayCreatures 