Here’s The Top 10 Biggest Mismatches In Hollywood

Posted: May 8, 2013 by subwaycreatures in Funny
Tags: , , , , , , ,

I was having a conversation with my friends this morning about mismatches, married or not, still together or not, and it got me thinking about a number of others. I decided, why not create a list and rank them. Mismatches both piss me the fuck off and at the same time give me hope that I somehow still have a chance someday with a hot celebrity. This list purely consists of women who have their OWN money and somehow look past the ugliness and loser ways of their significant others. Here’s what I came up with:

10. Marisa Miller/Griffin Guess Marisa is only one of the hottest models in the history of modeling and this is not what I would picture a person of that title to be married to. I will hate on this relationship all day long!

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9. January Jones/Josh Groban January Jones has been around the block a few times and even has a child to which no one knows who the father is. That being said, it’s still no excuse for Josh Groban to be all up in that vag. That relationship is donzo but the fact that he was ever there confuses me.

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8. Kate Hudson/Chris Robinson I get that rock stars can usually get any girl they want, especially when the girl is a huge roadie but KATE HUDSON?! Come on, man! Chris Robinson looks like one of the brothers from Duck Dynasty. Maybe she realized this and that’s why she moved on to the lead singer of Muse.

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7. Arianny Celeste/Praveen Chandra Arianny is one of the hottest ring girls to ever step foot in UFC. She had everything going for her until she started dating this guy who is as relevant as a typewriter. They both got arrested a little while back for a domestic and for all I know Praveen is home crying and using his tears as lube while he jerks off to her picture.

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6. Hayden Panettiere/Wladmir Klitschko If there were a couple on this list that makes me want to cut myself it’s this one. It’s probably because Hayden is a smokeshow spinner who probably gets destroyed by this dumb Russian. If you Google ‘opposites attract’ this is the picture that shows up.

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5. Isla Fischer/Sacha Baron Cohen Women love funny guys more than chocolate on their period and that’s the only explanation I have for this relationship. How Isla can watch as the father of her two kids 69’s a fat guy on a hotel bed in Borat is beyond me but maybe she’s just as crazy as he is.

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4. Heidi Klum/Seal If I actually have to explain this one to you then you’re a fucking idiot. The only shock here might be that they are only #4 and not #1. I don’t want to hear any of this ‘she’s a great person because she loves his personality’ bullshit. You’re a Victoria’s Secret model…date like it!

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3. Kat von D/Deadmau5 (Joel Zimmerman) You think if Joel Zimmerman weren’t a successful DJ and producer he would have a chick like Kat von D? Fuck no! He would probably be making ‘It Only Gets Better’ videos on Youtube and thinking about how he’s gonna get revenge on all the kids who picked on him his whole life.

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2. Christina Hendricks/Geoffrey Arend Now these last two are real head scratchers. If you told me Christina Hendricks married the shrooms guy from Super Troopers, you could probably also convince me the sky was green and the grass is blue. Mind-blown! Proof right here that one day–I will marry someone hot and famous.

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1. Mary Kate Olsen/Olivier Sarkozy Now if this doesn’t make the hair on the back of your neck stand up, then you are probably wearing an ankle bracelet and registered in your town as a sex offender. Nevermind the age gap, it’s almost as if Mary Kate is hypnotized and the therapist died before snapping her out of it just like Office Space. Who am I kidding, this chick is off her goddamn rocker. However, this picture alone should have had authorities knocking on their door.

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Comments
  1. harry says:

    Klitschko is Ukrainian and a doctor. Not joking. He’s not dumb.

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