Of Course China Introduces The First ‘Sperm Extractor’ Machine

Posted: June 26, 2014 by subwaycreatures in Funny
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IFLScience: A Chinese hospital in Nanjing, capital of Jiangsu Province, has introduced a new machine that makes sperm donation even easier- an automatic sperm extractor. I’m all for hands-free technology, but have scientists gone a little too far with this invention? The effortless machine features a massage pipe that can be adjusted to suit the height of the user. All the gentleman has to do is plug in the frequency, amplitude and temperature and off they go. It’s also fitted with a small screen for those feeling uninspired. According to the director of the urology department of the hospital, the machine is designed to help individuals that are finding it difficult to retrieve sperm the old fashioned way. We’re not entirely convinced that standing in a room shared by many other people and being milked like a cow is going to help, but their efforts are commendable. Here’s to technology.

 

OK can we just get one thing out of the way–call it whatever you want but all this is is an advanced blowjob machine. Forget the hospital, you wanna make money throw this thing on the market. Especially in China. You’ll have one in every house by the end of one fiscal quarter. Not sure I’d be very open to sharing it though. Next up, clearly the woman in the video doesn’t know how this thing works or else I’m not sure she’d have her fingers in the mouth of that bad boy. Or maybe she would–the Chinese are fuckin freaks when it comes sex.
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