TMI: Mrs. Brady Had Crabs

“I made a poor choice (when I slept with John Lindsay), and I woke up the next morning…itchy. I believe in karma, I just didn’t know it would happen overnight or that I would be punished with these little critters. That scared the hell out of me. Have you ever had crabs?”

Gosh thanks Florence Henderson. If there was anything to make my day any worse, I get to picture your hippie bush infested with dirty fuckin lice crawling all over it. I know you’ve been out of the spotlight for a while but why must you insist on letting the world know about this? You wanna hear some breaking news? No one cares! I always said I would’ve loved to be alive in the 60s and 70s. Everyone just doing drugs and having sex all over the place without a worry in the world. Well apparently not. And former NYC mayor, John Lindsay, bought her flowers to apologize? Now THAT’S how you treat a ho! ‘Hey sorry about that STD thing. Here’s a bouquet of roses, don’t sweat it.’ How can you feel bad for Mrs. Brady here? She was married and banging a politician. If you’re not asking for some kind of STD then you really are living in a perfect world in The Brady Bunch.

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