The Smoking Gun:
You thought after your 18th birthday you’d grown out of having sex in the back of the car. Not so for 71-year-old senior citizen Rita Daniels who was arrested for getting it on in the back of her Buick with a guy she picked up at a bar. Yes, it appears that Daniels and her 54-year-old boytoy Tim Adams met over drinks and decided to go screw in the back of Daniels’ car (whose license plate reads “DIVA 145”) in the parking lot of a restaurant in the middle of the day. Someone called the cops who found the car a-rocking and they came a-knocking on the steamy windows. When they asked Adams what he was doing he said, “I’m fucking this chick.” Oh man, all the details of this story just get better and better. They were both arrested for indecent exposure and public drunkenness and taken to jail. Hopefully Daniels behaved like a real diva and threw a fit or two (or at least hit on the guards) before being set free.
I mean, you go day drinking in the midwest and this is what you’ll most likely find but goddamn! How drunk must you be to have beer goggles where this chick looks even remotely decent?! Not that old Timmy boy here is any catch but look at grandma in this mugshot. Straight up looks like Cruella Deville, on crack, 40 years after 101 Dalmatians. And Tim’s mugshot is priceless. If that doesn’t look like the face of a guy who just got caught having sex in broad daylight with a nasty 71-year old hag, then I don’t know what it looks like. I can’t honestly say that it’s shame cause when they cops came to the window and asked him what he was doing, he simply replied “I’m fucking this chick.” Like it was no big deal and please close the door and walk away. Call me crazy but why do I get the feeling this isn’t Rita’s first time doing this?