Woman Assaults Boyfriend Because McDonalds Wouldn’t Sell Her A Cheeseburger


When Shanaya Edgell arrived early yesterday morning at a McDonald’s in Janesville, Wisconsin, she was expecting to order from the fast food joint’s regular menu–Big Macs, french fries, Chicken McNuggets, and the like. Except it was around 3 AM and the restaurant had already switched over to its breakfast menu–hash browns, Egg McMuffins, hotcakes, and the like. This enraged Edgell, according to Janesville Police Department officers, since she wanted a cheeseburger. The 22-year-old–for some unexplained reason–turned on her boyfriend, biting him on the arm and tearing off his shirt. Darrell Page, 40, explained to a cop that Edgell “wanted a burger from McDonald’s,” so they drove to the restaurant–only to discover at the drive-thru window that the eatery “had stopped serving hamburgers and was now only serving breakfast.” Edgell, he added, “got upset because she did not want breakfast and only wanted a cheeseburger.” After driving away, Edgell apparently changed her mind, and directed Page to “return to McDonald’s so that she could get breakfast,” according to a misdemeanor criminal complaint filed in Circuit Court. At this point, Edgell allegedly began striking Page in the face and biting his right arm. Page also told police that when he pulled his car over during the assault, Edgell got out of the vehicle and climbed atop the hood to keep him from leaving. During police questioning, Edgell confirmed that she became “upset” after discovering that McDonald’s had “switched over to the breakfast menu and…she wanted to order food off the regular menu.” She reported “freaking out over this,” adding that Page was trying to calm her down over the matter of the unavailable cheeseburgers. When a cop asked why he had spotted her on the car’s roof, Edgell answered, “because I was acting crazy.” After dismounting from the vehicle, Edgell was collared for disorderly conduct. Pictured in the above mug shot, Edgell is being held in the Rock County jail in lieu of $150 bond. She is scheduled for a court appearance later this afternoon.

Shanaya, I completely understand how you feel. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gone to McDonald’s looking for breakfast, only to find out that I missed it by 5 minutes and can only get lunch. Or when I go late at night hoping to get 3 McChickens with fries only to be told they are only serving eggs or pancakes. McDonald’s thinks it’s their world and we’re all just living in it. How hard would it be to make anything on your menu 24/7? You microwave the chicken for 30 seconds, put it on a roll with mayo and lettuce and BAM! Done. Same goes for the egg sandwiches. Why in the hell would I go to McDonald’s at 11AM looking for chicken nuggets or a cheeseburger?! Sell breakfast until at least noon and serve lunch/dinner until 4AM and sales will go up and America will be fatter than it already is. Christ, do I need to do everything around here?

Side note: The only thing scarier than the people in McDonald’s at 3AM are the people who aren’t fucked up.

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