Thanks to groundbreaking innovation in the aftershave industry, men making excuses about their strip clubs visits can now have smells to back them up. Metro reports that Mavericks strip club in South Africa has launched a line of “Alibi” aftershave products designed to make men smell the way they would if their excuses for staying out late were actually legit. “My Car Broke Down,” for example, smells like fuel, burnt rubber grease and steel, according to Metro. But Margy Bons of Operation Homefront told KNXV the cologne is unlikely to keep women from sniffing out the truth. “If he’s coming home at 1 o’clock in the morning, I don’t care. You can wear Alibi all you want, we’re still gonna have to look for that alibi,” Bons told the station. Also doubtful of the product’s usefulness, JOE’s Amy Wall notes that other, more traditional options are already available to sneaky men. “Apparently people would actually wear an aftershave that smells like burnt rubber,” Wall wrote. “We wonder why they wouldn’t just take a shower instead?”
And who are the men that this product is made for? The men that are unfortunately married to these women who remind me of ‘The View.’ Christ, how annoying are they? Know-it-alls who think it would never happen to them and they could sniff out a cheater a mile away. It’s all giggles and jokes during this segment, meanwhile their husbands are showering themselves in Alibi as they speak. ‘If your husband is out there buying Alibi…you know! There’s no secret there!’ Yea, that’s why you won’t know if he’s buying Alibi. Because he won’t tell you just like he won’t tell you that he’s had his face buried in a stripper tits all night. ‘Yea, but you can’t hide the bottle!’ Hiding the bottle isn’t the hard part, it’s the glitter on my face I would be worried about.
Side Note: Since when were strip clubs such a bad place for married men to be? Big deal, he’s watching a naked chick dance on stage. At least he’s not out banging your best friend behind your back. You can only cage an animal for so long…