‘Come On Irene!’ NY Get Ready, This Bitch is Cummin’

So with Hurricane Irene PMSing up the east coast, the media has taken it in their liberty to scare the hell out of everyone from Florida to Maine. I’m not saying we shouldn’t be worried or prepared but they are making it sound like the Apocalypse is coming. One of the stories being reported is the ‘perfect storm’ theory in that if Irene hits exactly when high tide does, there could be an 8 foot storm surge. If this is the case, the subways will most definitely flood which will disable half of NYs transportation. Most states have already put emergency plans in motion and/or declared a state of emergency. Mayor Bloomberg released this statement today: “Do not swim.” Thanks Mike. We’ll stay out of the water until Irene passes but if all goes as the media is telling us, we won’t have much of a choice because Manhattan will turn into Waterworld. I’d say the chances Irene pops a squat on NYC this weekend are slim. Will we get rain? Yes. Will it be windy? Yes. Will the levees break and people need to get rescued from building tops and FEMA come in to save the day and terrible Nic Cage movies get made a year later? I hope not but if so, then may God help us all!

Oh and to cover my ass, if it does flood, here is a map of those of you who will die:

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