manhattan – SubwayCreatures

Gothamist: The police have released a photograph of a man accused of a sexual assault in a midtown Manhattan subway station on Sunday, in hopes that the public can identify him. According to the NYPD, a 19-year-old man was riding a downtown D train from West 155th Street and 8th Avenue at 11:45 a.m. When he sat down, the suspect was “standing across from him, touching his groin area over his clothing.” The police said the suspect approached the victim and directed him to exit the train with him at Columbus Circle-59th Street. They boarded another train to the West 50th C/E station, where the suspect led the victim to the north end of the downtown platform and forced him to perform a criminal sex act. The suspect then stole the victim’s backpack and fled in an arriving downtown train. The victim also got on the train, retrieved his backpack, took a photograph of the suspect with his cellphone and then left the train. The suspect is described as a man in his 30s, about 6′, 190 pounds and wearing a grey jacket, beige pants and a black knit hat. Anyone with information in regards to this incident is asked to call Crime Stoppers at 1-800-577-TIPS (8477). The public can also submit tips by logging onto the Crime Stoppers website at WWW.NYPDCRIMESTOPPERS.COM or by texting their tips to 274637 (CRIMES) then enter TIP577.

I’ve read this story 3 times now and does anyone else find it bizarre? So some guy is sitting on the train rubbing his dick and tells you to get off the train–so you do?? Never mentions anything about him having a weapon or being threatening but he walks you to another train where you get on with him and then proceed to follow him to the end of the platform for a handie/beej? THEN, he steals your backpack and gets onto another train where you follow him and not only take the backpack back, but you snap a picture of the guy as he falls asleep a couple minutes later with you standing next to him? I’m not saying this didn’t happen and obviously this guy needs to get caught, but there are a lot of holes in this story. I would love to hear the other guy’s version.

Two Older People Smoke A Joint On No Other Train Than The J Line In NYC

May 2, 2013subwaycreatures

Ah yes, the good ol’ J train. I believe that’s the subway line that starts at the devil’s taint, makes stops in third world countries such as Afghanistan and North Korea, and then somehow ends up in lower Manhattan. Always something to see as apparent by this video. No one to tell these old folks otherwise and it looks like no one even cares. And thank you Prince Nasty and Nego Yams for that thrilling commentary and vertical video.

Side note: Is there anything more dirty and risky than sharing a joint with a bum on the subway?

Wanna Use The Battery Tunnel In NYC? Hope You Have A Submarine

October 31, 2012subwaycreatures

Still no power to lower Manhattan, still no signs of subway’s getting back up running, and I’m turning into Jack Nicholson in The Shining from cabin fever. But this video from the MTA just goes to show you how much longer things could stay this way. Just looks like a scene from the movie Daylight. At what point do we send Sly Stallone in there to pull the drain plug on this party?

So What Was With All The Bodies In The Subway Over The Weekend?

January 23, 2012subwaycreatures

HuffPost: This past weekend, New York City’s subway system experienced four deaths in less than 24 hours. The Associated Press reports that all of the incidents took place on Saturday, and police say none of the victims were related. The first death occurred on Saturday morning at 2:01 a.m. at an R train station in Elmhurst, Queens. According to The Wall Street Journal, the victim is believed to have fallen down the stairs. The AP adds that he was reportedly in his 60s. About six hours later, the AP reports that a man in his 20s was struck and killed by an L train on 14th Street in Manhattan. Daily Intel adds that he was standing on the tracks between 3rd Avenue and Union Square. The Wall Street Journal identified the victim as Brian O’Mara of Garden City, N.Y., and put his time of death at 8:25 a.m. The third fatality occurred on the A line Saturday afternoon in Brooklyn at the Nostrand Avenue station. The Wall Street Journal writes that a little after 4 p.m., an MTA employee spotted a body on the tracks within the subway tunnel. On Saturday evening, the fourth death took place on the L line in Manhattan. The New York Daily News reports that at about 10 p.m., a man’s head was spotted between a subway car and platform within the Sixth Avenue station.

So apparently Death was in town riding the subways on Saturday and just leaving bodies all over the place like it was Jonestown. Is that a rat at the end of the platform? No, looks more like a human head. Oh, ok. Sounds like some Final Destination kind of shit and wherever that 5th victim is who made it out alive, you don’t have very long before you cross the street and get crushed by a garbage truck.

‘Come On Irene!’ NY Get Ready, This Bitch is Cummin’

August 25, 2011August 25, 2011subwaycreatures

So with Hurricane Irene PMSing up the east coast, the media has taken it in their liberty to scare the hell out of everyone from Florida to Maine. I’m not saying we shouldn’t be worried or prepared but they are making it sound like the Apocalypse is coming. One of the stories being reported is the ‘perfect storm’ theory in that if Irene hits exactly when high tide does, there could be an 8 foot storm surge. If this is the case, the subways will most definitely flood which will disable half of NYs transportation. Most states have already put emergency plans in motion and/or declared a state of emergency. Mayor Bloomberg released this statement today: “Do not swim.” Thanks Mike. We’ll stay out of the water until Irene passes but if all goes as the media is telling us, we won’t have much of a choice because Manhattan will turn into Waterworld. I’d say the chances Irene pops a squat on NYC this weekend are slim. Will we get rain? Yes. Will it be windy? Yes. Will the levees break and people need to get rescued from building tops and FEMA come in to save the day and terrible Nic Cage movies get made a year later? I hope not but if so, then may God help us all!

Oh and to cover my ass, if it does flood, here is a map of those of you who will die: