New York City – SubwayCreatures

Just A Typical Night Home On The Metro North

May 19, 2014subwaycreatures

Anyone who lives in NYC area knows what it’s like to take the Long Island Rail Road or Metro North home on a Saturday night. This is it–amateur hour. My guess is this was probably over someone stepping on someone’s shoe or looking at someone the wrong way. I guess we can give them credit for not driving drunk though…right?

Next Up For NYC Subway, One Giant Train Car With More Doors?

October 21, 2013subwaycreatures

NYTimes: For decades, the New York City subway car has been a predictable space. Some have seats; some have benches. Graspable pole options vary only slightly. Mariachi bands play, and self-appointed preachers preach. And if there is no seat, no room, no end to a performance, there is often no escape for a rider — at least until the next stop. That may yet change. Metropolitan Transportation Authority officials are envisioning a subway car of the future that offers New Yorkers an out, ending the era of the captive car population. This month, in a 142-page document outlining needs for the next 20 years, the authority noted the benefits of articulated trains — similar to accordion-style buses — that have no doors between cars, allowing unrestricted flow throughout the length of the subway. The inclusion of articulated train cars in the report, a mild surprise to some transit advocates, does not guarantee that the cars will reach the rails anytime soon, or even at all; it was not clear how the cost of the articulated cars compares with that of nonarticulated cars. But for the first time in the subway system’s modern history, the authority appears poised to seriously consider a model adopted in cities like Berlin, Paris and Toronto.

Imagine this? No more smushing into trains like the Chinese or standing with an armpit in your face in the morning rush. Sounds great in a perfect world but it’ll never happen. It would probably mean subway cards costing $10 per swipe. How about we get the 2nd Ave line up and running first (that no one will use since it will only run about 40 city blocks for the first few years). Baby steps MTA, baby steps. You’re still fixing the subway from Sandy and you’re talking about accordion trains of the future. Love the idea but just sounds like a wet dream.

Nothing Like Lettin’ Loose On The Subway And–Holy Shit Look At Her Feet

October 8, 2013October 8, 2013subwaycreatures

Gothamist: This was a Q train, I got on at Times Square after work around 9pm and I found her exactly like this, feet up, headphones on, bobbing her head, sipping her Becks, oblivious to people trying to find a seat. The train was pretty crowded, nowhere to sit. I rode the train all the way to Newkirk plaza and she was still there. It seemed to me she was getting off work as well because she had a badge or a keycard around her neck. I’m going to write a missed connection because she might be the one I’ve been waiting for…

Look there’s nothing more I like than a girl who gets off work and just wants to let loose and chug a beer like this chick. But when your feet look like you just walked from Financial District to the Upper West Side barefoot then I’m sorry but you’re getting next’d. The diseases that are on her feet probably haven’t been discovered yet. It’s a shame too cause the Ging had a lot going for her.

Just A Shark On The N-Train In NYC Last Night

August 7, 2013August 7, 2013subwaycreatures

MTA: Around 12:30 am last night, the conductor aboard a Ditmars-bound N train at Queensboro Plaza reported that there was a shark aboard the train in car #8994. The conductor isolated the car and the train proceeded to Ditmars Boulevard terminal. Upon arrival at Ditmars Boulevard, a Train Service Supervisor reported the shark was dead and he placed it in a garbage bag and disposed of it in the trash. The Road Car Inspector on duty at Ditmars Blvd. normalized the car and returned the train to customer service.

They weren’t kidding around with this Sharknado 2 thing coming to NYC huh? Imagine getting that call as a train dispatcher? ‘Ahhhh yea dispatch, this is ahhhhh, N-Train 3442 and ahhhhhh, we ahhhhhh, got a shark on board.’ Knowing New Yorkers, dispatch was probably some pissed off black lady like ‘nigga proceed yo ass to Ditmars! We got a schedule to keep!’

Side note: With the disappointment I’m hearing about Shark Week this season, I wouldn’t be surprised if this is the top story next year.

Subway Train Takes Off With All The Doors Open

June 19, 2013subwaycreatures

Imagine this shit happening in NYC during rush hour? Holy shit talk about a free-for-all. This would be the best opportunity to throw every mariachi band, annoying talker, loud music listener right off the train. Whoops! Wasn’t my fault you fucks forgot to close the doors!

Side note: I don’t know what country this is in but the fact that they get padded seats is insane. See how long those would last in the NYC subway!

How Bad Do You Want To Do This To The People Who Hold The Subway Doors?

May 3, 2013subwaycreatures

Stand clear of the closing doors motherfucker! Can’t tell you how many times I’ve wanted to do this in the subway going somewhere. Chick barely gets on the train as the doors close and she stands there holding them while her friends are taking their damn time swiping their cards through the turnstile. Problem is usually it’s the ratchiest of the ratchet chicks that pull this shit who would absolutely kick my ass. The other problem is that even if I punted the chick off the train, the doors would probably fling back open and stay open. Why can’t the trains just leave anyway?

Two Older People Smoke A Joint On No Other Train Than The J Line In NYC

May 2, 2013subwaycreatures

Ah yes, the good ol’ J train. I believe that’s the subway line that starts at the devil’s taint, makes stops in third world countries such as Afghanistan and North Korea, and then somehow ends up in lower Manhattan. Always something to see as apparent by this video. No one to tell these old folks otherwise and it looks like no one even cares. And thank you Prince Nasty and Nego Yams for that thrilling commentary and vertical video.

Side note: Is there anything more dirty and risky than sharing a joint with a bum on the subway?

I Absolutely Despise Subway Entertainers But This Guy Would Get My Money

January 17, 2013subwaycreatures

Anyone who is from NYC knows that he absolutely NAILED that subway voice! I really believed him when he said he was the original voice and got fired even though it’s bullshit. 99% of the time I can’t stand these guys and want to pay them just to shut up and get off my train but this guy seems legit.

Side note: Lady sitting down was cracking up the whole time and talking about how good this dude was. When he finished she didn’t even budge for loose change. Typical.

Pantless Subway Rider Sluts It Up All Over Union Square [NSFW]

January 15, 2013subwaycreatures

Look up the definition of “hood rat or “ratchet” and you will see a chick with tattoos up and down her legs, grinding all over a subway railing and literally getting a public colonoscopy while dollar bills rain down on her. Somewhere in America there’s a father who just watched this slumped over with a single gunshot wound to the head. The only positive thing I can say about this is that thank Christ this wasn’t at Puerto Rican Day Parade or else we’d be having a completely different conversation.