Posts Tagged ‘Apple’

 

This is what the infomercial for the Finger Nose should look like:

Have trouble using your iPhone in the bath?! How about when reading? How about when you’re just too goddamn lazy to use your hands?? Well Finger Nose is here to make sure you look like the biggest asshole in the world. Just strap this fuzzy dildo to your nose and point, click, and scroll away!  Sure you won’t have many friends and girls will avoid you, but the fact that you’ll be able to multitask outweighs all of that!

Just the fact that this is a real thing and someone is probably making millions off of clinically depresses me. Fuckin’ thing should come with a guy who shows up and punches you in the nuts when you open the box. In fact I’d love to be that guy so if Finger Nose is hiring, please shoot me an email ASAP.

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PaperBlog – This morning more than 30 trucks filled with 5-cent coins arrived at Apple’s headquarters in California. Initially, the security company that protects the facility said the trucks were in the wrong place, but minutes later, Tim Cook (Apple CEO) received a call from SamsungCEO explaining that they will pay $1 billion dollars for the fine recently ruled against the South Korean company in this way. The funny part is that the signed document does not specify a single payment method, so Samsung is entitled to send the creators of the iPhone their billion dollars in the way they deem best. This dirty but genius geek troll play is a new headache to Apple executives as they will need to put in long hours counting all that money, to check if it is all there and to try to deposit it crossing fingers to hope a bank will accept all the coins. Lee Kun-hee, Chairman of Samsung Electronics, told the media that his company is not going to be intimidated by a group of “geeks with style” and that if they want to play dirty, they also know how to do it.

 

I have a whole new respect for Samsung. You want your $1billion dollar fine? Fine. Take 30 trucks loaded with foreign currency 5 cent coins. Amazing! Typical move from the younger sibling always looking up to the perfect bigger brother. Absolutely doing this after I lose all my money on the NFL games I’m betting on this weekend from taking 2-year old Olive’s advice. Your move Apple, your move.

 

The iPhone has changed the way we work, play, and keep in touch with each other. It’s an amazing piece of technology – except when it needs a charge, which is pretty often. That frustration was part of the inspiration behind our latest product design, the JuiceBuddy: the world’s smallest and most portable iPhone charger. Simply lift up the prongs, plug the JuiceBuddy into any standard wall outlet, lift off the cap, slip your phone on, and your iPhone is off the floor, charging safely and securely. We designed the JuiceBuddy to work with any version of the iPhone, or iPod Touch.

 

Can’t tell you how many times I’m trying to meet up with people or out with people whose iPhones die because they have all 100 of their apps open all day long and don’t know how to charge their phones like normal people. Well here’s a new device that hooks on your key chain to solve that problem. No excuses. For those of you who don’t have an iPhone I don’t know what to tell you other then it’s 2012, get with it!

http://pacific-productions.myshopify.com/collections/frontpage/products/copy-of-juicebuddy

 

 

Kid Slaps Brother With An iPad

Posted: January 3, 2012 by subwaycreatures in Funny
Tags: , , ,

 

Is it fake? Probably. But either way the sound of face-on-iPad is amazing. For anyone who has grown up with a sibling, you’ve always wanted to do something like this…just not with a $600 piece of technology.

Also, why do so many kids have iPads nowadays? Kids these days are on a completely different level, I swear to god. My 11-year old sister has a goddamn iPad and I don’t. All I had was a pager growing up and thought it was the greatest thing since dial-up AOL. Didn’t even know how to use it. This is a prime example of why I’m all for abortion.

New iPhone 4s Puts Asians At A Disadvantage

Posted: October 19, 2011 by subwaycreatures in Funny
Tags: , , , ,

 

Jesus it got to the point where I was waiting for Siri to say “Speak fuckin’ English asshole!” Asians have always been handicapped when it comes to those pesky Rs but you know what, they are smart people and will have to learn to adapt. I’ve been reading all sorts of stories about this new Siri shit on the iPhone 4s and it looks like it could probably entertain me for an entire day. You can ask it anything and it will have some kind of answer for you. Take this for example: