Posts Tagged ‘iPhone’

 

This is what the infomercial for the Finger Nose should look like:

Have trouble using your iPhone in the bath?! How about when reading? How about when you’re just too goddamn lazy to use your hands?? Well Finger Nose is here to make sure you look like the biggest asshole in the world. Just strap this fuzzy dildo to your nose and point, click, and scroll away!  Sure you won’t have many friends and girls will avoid you, but the fact that you’ll be able to multitask outweighs all of that!

Just the fact that this is a real thing and someone is probably making millions off of clinically depresses me. Fuckin’ thing should come with a guy who shows up and punches you in the nuts when you open the box. In fact I’d love to be that guy so if Finger Nose is hiring, please shoot me an email ASAP.

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The iPhone has changed the way we work, play, and keep in touch with each other. It’s an amazing piece of technology – except when it needs a charge, which is pretty often. That frustration was part of the inspiration behind our latest product design, the JuiceBuddy: the world’s smallest and most portable iPhone charger. Simply lift up the prongs, plug the JuiceBuddy into any standard wall outlet, lift off the cap, slip your phone on, and your iPhone is off the floor, charging safely and securely. We designed the JuiceBuddy to work with any version of the iPhone, or iPod Touch.

 

Can’t tell you how many times I’m trying to meet up with people or out with people whose iPhones die because they have all 100 of their apps open all day long and don’t know how to charge their phones like normal people. Well here’s a new device that hooks on your key chain to solve that problem. No excuses. For those of you who don’t have an iPhone I don’t know what to tell you other then it’s 2012, get with it!

http://pacific-productions.myshopify.com/collections/frontpage/products/copy-of-juicebuddy

 

 

iPhone 4s Tells Young Boy To “Shut The Fuck Up”

Posted: January 2, 2012 by subwaycreatures in Funny
Tags: , , ,

British tween Charlie Le Quesne and his mom were shopping at a store in England when he picked up an iPhone 4S on display and innocently asked Siri, “How many people are there in the world?” The 12-year-old, expecting the phone’s automated assistant to give him a number, got a real shock when instead Siri answered, “Shut the fuck up, you ugly twat.” Whoa, girl, watch your mouth!!! Charlie’s mother, Kim, couldn’t believe what she’d heard, so they asked the same question, thinking it must have been an error. But crabby Siri fired back with the very same expletive-laden rant.

As you might imagine, Kim wasn’t too pleased, and complained to store managers. They apologized and pulled the phone from the display, which was on a low shelf in full reach of children. The store thinks that some potty-mouthed prankster had their way with Siri and got her all confused, programming the filthy phrase in as the user name for the phone. Since Siri is sometimes in the habit of responding to people by their names, she might have simply said the phrase thinking it was the boy’s name. You can see how somebody would think that was an awesome trick (though there are a lot more clever ways to do it than just putting in a bunch of four-letter words), but Charlie’s mom says didn’t appreciate the joke: “I couldn’t see the funny side.” As for the foul-mouthed iPhone, it’s being sent back to Apple for “diagnostic tests.”

Sounds like it’s that time of the month for Siri. After all the dumb fuckin’ questions people always ask her, she finally had enough. “Shut the fuck up, you ugly twat” is probably the least of what Siri wanted to say to this kid. Ask a better question next time bucko and maybe you won’t get told off by a cell phone app. Robots showing emotion is just the beginning of how they are going to take over this world some day. Love this story and credit to the asshole nerd who plugged that phrase into this floor model iPhone 4s.

New iPhone 4s Puts Asians At A Disadvantage

Posted: October 19, 2011 by subwaycreatures in Funny
Tags: , , , ,

 

Jesus it got to the point where I was waiting for Siri to say “Speak fuckin’ English asshole!” Asians have always been handicapped when it comes to those pesky Rs but you know what, they are smart people and will have to learn to adapt. I’ve been reading all sorts of stories about this new Siri shit on the iPhone 4s and it looks like it could probably entertain me for an entire day. You can ask it anything and it will have some kind of answer for you. Take this for example: