Posts Tagged ‘kids’

Could This Be The Greatest Abortion Ad Of All Time?

Posted: April 6, 2016 by subwaycreatures in WTF
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Fuckin’ SEPTA in Philadelphia…

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Family Packs Kids Into Trunk Of Car Leaving Strip Mall

Posted: April 2, 2015 by subwaycreatures in WTF
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If this is how you go about getting to and from McDonald’s everyday then you’d think they’d have a better system down. Kids taking their time hopping in the trunk and all the other family members on the lookout like a major drug deal is going down in broad daylight. Suspicious as hell looking. It’s actually sad because one minor accident and these kids are screwed. Here’s a solution–throw big mama in the trunk and you’ll be able to fit everyone in the car. Problem solved.

 

 

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Some Bad Ass Russian Kids Wrestling A Bear

Posted: November 15, 2013 by subwaycreatures in Awesome
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How fucking bad ass is this? Like we all know Russians are the coldest, most emotionless people alive but wrestling a young bear at age 10? Not for me. I don’t care if that thing is trying to eat me or not–it’s claws are longer than my fingers. Last thing I need is to catch one of those daggers to the mid section and get opened up in front of my friends. I guess this is how they start’em young in Russia. Absurd.

 

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BroBible: On August 29,¬†John Van Allen was pulled over for speeding. He immediately stands up,¬†then ignores the officer’s demands to¬†get back into his car. Suddenly, he pulls a pistol out, begins firing and¬†approaches the police cruiser.¬†The officer,¬†Matt Zistel, was hit in his side. He still returned fire and¬†mortally wounded¬†Allen, who, despite being shot, made his way back to the car and sped off. He was found dead a half mile down the road. In Allen’s car were his three children, who were all okay. Zistel also recovered from his injury.¬†The DA ruled that Zistel’s use of lethal force was justified. It’s hard to doubt that after seeing this.

 

What the fuck is wrong with people? That bitch yesterday in Washington D.C. was speeding around with her baby in the car and this guy had 3 of his kids in the car while this shit was going down. Nevermind the scenario they were put in where the kids could’ve been hit by a stray bullet, but they also had to watch their parents die right in front of them.

 

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Kids Riding In Trunk Of Car Almost Get Smoked By Truck

Posted: September 19, 2013 by subwaycreatures in Dumb
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Let’s be real here, whether the kids were in the trunk or not, that truck would’ve destroyed everyone in that car. Some redneck shit straight out of Romania.

Nashville, TN: It is one of Metro’s most expensive child support cases and the father in question considers himself to be quite the ladies man. “I was young and ambitious and I love women. You can’t knock no man for loving women,” said Orlando Shaw whose relationships have led to several children. The 33-year-old Shaw admitted to fathering 22 kids by 14 different women.¬† Those mothers — through Child Support Services — took Shaw to court for tens of thousands of dollars in unpaid child support over the years. It is estimated the state pays more than $7,000 each month in assistance to help support all of Shaw’s children. “How do we apply our child support guidelines to this many children in this many households,” said magistrate Scott Rosenberg. Rosenburg said Shaw would have to take three or four full-time jobs to even come close to paying the child support he owes. Shaw said his prior criminal history makes it hard for him to find a job. Shaw said he’s proud of all his children. “I love my kids and I can care less about what anyone thinks about it,” said Shaw.¬† He said by having all these children it helps his Shaw family legacy live on. “I’ll be sure we’ll be here for years and years to come.” Shaw will likely go to trial on the child support case.¬† The magistrate could send him to jail, yet again.¬† He’s been there several times before. The court has also been working to help Shaw get more involved with his children’s lives even if he can’t do so financially. Metro handles literally thousands of child support payment cases every year and Shaw’s ranks near the top involving the number of children who are receiving little or no support.

 

You really want me to do this? Cause I can name like 5 or 6. Orlando Jr., JaLando, Shaquando, Shanando, Ferlando, Orquando…and Pedro. When your offspring make up for half the population of Tennessee and your method of bailout is scratch offs, then it might be time to put the dick away. Jesus Christ, I have nightmares of having 1 kid let alone 22 with 14 women. Needless to say this is one of my worst nightmares. How long until this guy gets a reality show?

Would You Rather…

Posted: January 17, 2013 by subwaycreatures in Would You Rather
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Would you rather…

Have to babysit 10 out of control kids for a full work day who still piss and shit their diapers, running around screaming and you have the worst hangover of all time

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OR

Be the most ticklish person in the world and you are strapped down and tortuously tickled by Andy Dick?

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Northbound on a southbound freeway, Jesus Christ! Fuckin’ kid can’t even squat into his stance before the snap he’s so fat and you expect a kid the size of one of his legs to tackle him? Poor bastard got his first phase 3 concussion at age 11 but I give him credit for trying. Isn’t this why there are supposed to be weigh limits at the pee-wee level?

 

Premature celebration. Common problem for kids around this age but you play til the final whistle. Isn’t that the saying starting in Pop Warner? The kid who picks off Mark Sanchez then decides to drop the ball to celebrate will now have night terrors until next season.

Also, how mad are you, bro?