LAKE WORTH — A 59-year-old man was booked into the Palm Beach County Jail after he admitted to stealing a Palm Beach County Sheriff’s vehicle so he could have intimate time with a woman, a probable cause affidavit says. Alexander Pratt and 53-year-old Clara Pearson, both of Lake Worth, were arrested Thursday night on charges of grand theft auto. A sheriff’s probable cause affidavit says that plainclothes deputies from the sheriff’s auto theft task force parked their green Honda Civic in front of a Quick Stop on South Dixie Highway. The Civic, which is owned by the sheriff’s department and has video, audio and GPS surveillance, was left unlocked while running. Pratt and Pearson got into the car and backed the vehicle out onto Dixie Highway heading southbound toward Lantana Road. Spotted by deputies, they followed the Civic and conducted a traffic stop at Lantana Road and Interstate 95, the affidavit says. Pearson and Pratt were taken into custody and Pratt told deputies he knew the car was stolen but didn’t regret it because he wanted to “go to have intimate relations with Pearson,” the affidavit says.
The only thing that gets me in the mood for sex more than a Honda Civic is one that is unoccupied, unlocked, and has the engine running in a parking lot. Game over. Only problem here is that Alex and Clara jumped into the one Honda Civic that belongs to the sheriff’s department and is equipped with video, audio, and GPS. Talk about shitty luck. The only thing that I’ll give them props for is that they stuck by their story of why they stole the car but now Alex is going to jail with the worst case of blue balls.