This Pathetic Asshole Just Made My Day!

 

You know what? I ain’t even mad at this kid. Honestly, what does he have to lose throwing all this shit out there? Clearly he can only go up from where he is now. What’s the worst that can happen? He finds another creepy dude pretending to be a hot chick who then comes to his house and tortures and kills him? I’m sure that’s more excitement then he’ll see in an entire year.

Now, you want a tall, modelish, tan, chick with not one pimple. Welcome to the club brotha. I’ve been saying that since my first boner. And as far as the vampire thing goes, I got good news and bad news. Vampires seem to be in right now with girls your age. Bad part is that they will be expecting you to look like the actual characters from Twilight. I respect the confidence and drive but I have a feeling you’re gonna get stuck sexting with the gay, atheist ‘herma-daffa-dite’.

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