Posts Tagged ‘girlfriend’

Guy Performs WWE Finishing Moves On His Girlfriend In Pool

Posted: March 5, 2015 by subwaycreatures in Awesome
Tags: , ,

 

By far the best thing I’ve seen in a long time! A guy tossing a chick around performing WWE finishing moves synced to Jim Ross?! I can wake up to this every morning! First of all, any girlfriend who would let their man do this to them is an obvious keeper. Second…there wasn’t a whole lot of room for error in a couple of those moves. One slip on that diving board and that chick was a vegetable.

 

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Fuckin’ girls, man. They make you do the craziest things which is why I’m not even really shocked by this. You find out your girl is cheating and you end up remodeling the front of your double wide. I may not understand the point of that–but I get how this guy feels.

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A new app which has been described as a ‘Yelp for guys’ has drawn criticism for being ‘shallow’ and ‘ridiculous’. The Smartphone program allows women to write and read anonymous reviews about the people they date – but men, unsurprisingly, are less than amused. Lulu, which launched in the U.S. this week, asks female users to describe men using hashtags such as #HandyMan and #CheaperThanABigMac. With this new technology, one bad date can continue to doom you for the rest of time. That’s progress right there. The app – which first launched in the UK last year – has had 75,000 downloads since its U.S. debut on Tuesday, and over 140,000 man reviews have been written already. Lulu’s FAQ claims that its aim is to ‘[tell] you the stuff you want to know: is he a heartbreaker or your future husband?’ No doubt an app which simplifies compatibility to such an extent invites plenty of controversy.

 

Here it is folks! The downfall of man in a mobile app. Here’s the thing, any girl who is gonna go through the time of creating one of these profiles is not gonna do it to “help” their ex-boyfriend get more girls. She’s going on here to rip them apart, cock block, and ruin any credibility he might have. I read about this app and just looked at the ground and sighed. Chalked it up in the loss column. I can only imagine what my profile would look like:

“He’s got great personality but once you look past that you realize his end game. Expect the unexpected and get out while you can.”

Best

N/A

Worst

#SmashAndDash #FartsInHisSleep #SloppyDrunk #FighterNotLover #NewJersey #Player #FreckledLikeACheetah #ListGoesOn

Appearance: 2.3 (his ripped jeans made me feel like I was back in the 90s)

Humor: 4.9 (his racist jokes were blatantly inappropriate but got a chuckle out of me)

First Kiss: N/A

So that’s the type of shit I get to look forward to and to be honest, I don’t have time for a chick who is applying for a boyfriend CarFax before meeting me. You know why this app wouldn’t work the other way around? Cause guys don’t give a shit. Write whatever you want about your ex but as long as I now know she’s single, it’s game on. Not to mention how many girls would start cutting themselves because they would have to read about how much they smell and what whores they were. I’m just sayin’, karma is a bitch.

 

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OK so I’ve read this absolute shit storm of a story about 3 times now so let me try to break this down for everyone. I’ll pick up the story on the day of Manti’s grandmother’s death.

– September 11, 2012 Manti Te’o receives a call that his grandmother dies and shortly after, receives a call that his girlfriend Lennay Kekua has also died from complications from Leukemia. Previous to this day, no one had ever met Lennay but knew of the relationship. Manti says that Lennay had told him she wanted him to play in his game no matter what happened so Manti honors her wishes and even gets 2 interceptions plus a game ball from head coach Brian Kelly which is dedicated to Lennay.

– Lennay Kekua’s death now becomes much bigger than anyone would have thought and donations pour in from around the country as the story breaks outside the sports world and into the mainstream media world.

– A special story runs the morning of the National Championship game about Manti and Lennay’s relationship as well as their touching story. Deadspin reporters cannot find one record of Lennay’s death through Stanford (where she was supposedly a student), the Social Security Administration, or any other state records. Red flags go up all over the place.

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– Deadspin uses an image matching program to track down the girl in the photo and to their surprise, she has no idea what’s going on, says her name is not Lennay Kekua, and has never even met Manti Te’o before. Here’s where it gets interesting! A kid she had gone to school with a year earlier had asked her to take a picture of her holding a sign that he could give his sister who had been in a car accident. The girl does without asking questions and that was basically that.

– The kid who asked the girl for the picture is Ronaiah Tuiasosopo, a family friend of Manti Te’o. Family members told Deadspin that Ronaiah created the character Lennay Kekua in 2008 and tried to carry out an online relationship with another person before everyone became suspicious and it was declared a prank. They also said that Manti’s relationship was also a prank but grew too big, too quick.

– A close friend of Ronaiah says he’s 80% sure that Manti was in on the prank because he thinks he wanted the publicity or else he wouldn’t have lied about meeting Lennay. Also, there was no way Manti could be that dumb to maintain a relationship with someone he had never met and there are apparently a ton of photos with Ronaiah and Manti together that have since been deleted.

So overall, this is a long Maury Povich version of the MTV show “Catfish”. And what can we take away from this? Well, there’s a couple possibilities.

1) Manti Te’o could be telling the truth and just really be dumb/embarrassed.

2) Manti Te’o could be IN on this whole thing and was doing it all for publicity but when the story got out of hand, it got to the point of no return.

3) Manti Te’o is carrying on some twisted gay relationship with this Ronaiah guy and we haven’t even scratched the surface of this scandal.

Either way, Notre Dame has got to be embarrassed as all hell and time will tell how this Hollywood movie will end…

 

This Manti Te’o shit is so fucked up that I don’t even know where to begin! All I do know is guess who wins out of this whole thing? Yea, the other fuckin liar who has a special coming out tomorrow with Oprah. Great timing! I’m sure Oprah and her struggling OWN network is ready to kill someone right now. They’ve been jacking up this interview all week and along comes some football college punk to make Lance’s admission look like a white lie.

Everyone keeps asking me what the story is and to be honest it’s like the first time I watched Inception. I have no idea. I’m gonna need to read up on this about 10 more times until I even get an idea of what’s going on. All I know is something along the lines of a fake girlfriend on Twitter that Te’o talked to on the phone at night and for some reason told people he met her when he never did. Straight up Hollywood movie script writing itself in front of us right now. If you care to read about the story I posted the link below. Have fun and explain it to me in a week when you understand it!

Side note: How fitting is Manti Te’o for the New York Jets all the sudden with all this negative media attention and drama. I think the 9th pick just got locked up in this year’s draft.

CLICK HERE FOR THE STORY

 

This went as smoothly as when my mom caught the 40 year old stripper leaving my house and her car had a flat tire.

 

You know what? I ain’t even mad at this kid. Honestly, what does he have to lose throwing all this shit out there? Clearly he can only go up from where he is now. What’s the worst that can happen? He finds another creepy dude pretending to be a hot chick who then comes to his house and tortures and kills him? I’m sure that’s more excitement then he’ll see in an entire year.

Now, you want a tall, modelish, tan, chick with not one pimple. Welcome to the club brotha. I’ve been saying that since my first boner. And as far as the vampire thing goes, I got good news and bad news. Vampires seem to be in right now with girls your age. Bad part is that they will be expecting you to look like the actual characters from Twilight. I respect the confidence and drive but I have a feeling you’re gonna get stuck sexting with the gay, atheist ‘herma-daffa-dite’.