"People watch from the safety of your phone"
There’s been a lot of shit going on in the subway this past week but none that really top what happened on the Q train yesterday. Some ratchet chick decided to turn a pretty empty car into a fuckin’ slip-n-slide. Yes, she was sliding around the floor of the subway car on her stomach like a massive walrus. I believe one commenter put it the best way possible: I think she just caught the herpagonasyphilaids. Ha! She would be lucky if that’s all she got.
Thank you Utah…for making my Monday morning more cringe worthy than it already was! For those of you who saw Miss South Carolina’s answer about stupid kids not being able to locate the US on a world map in 2007 have seen worse than this but this is why these chicks are in beauty pageants and not world leaders. Just keep smiling and looking hot and you’ll be fine, hun. Oh yea…you didn’t think she was getting out of this post without this treatment did you…?
TheChive: That Statement Warrants A Facepalm!
Gawker: Man Punches Woman And Throws Her Onto Subway Tracks
Guyism: Man Needs 1 Million “Likes” And Girl Will Have Sex With Him
Barstool: Lance Armstrong Had The Line Of The Night Yesterday
BroBible: @KUBoobs Is A Twitter Account Comprised Of Girls Boobs From University of Kansas
TheChive: Boy, That Escalated Quickly [PHOTOS]
HuffPost: The DeLorean Hovercraft Is A Sight To See
DeadSpin: Man Who Posed As Manti Te’o’s Girlfriend Had Auditioned For ‘The Voice’
SitchNews: Man Run Over And Kill When Own Dog Hits Car Accelerator
Egotastic! Model Theresa Ortiz Drops Some Heat In Miami [PHOTOS]
Yababoon: Watch A Montage Of People Slip On The Same Patch Of Ice
EliteDaily: The Largest Campus Riots Of All Time
Mashable: Check Out The Sports Floor Of The Future
Oh college how I miss thee. Times, however, appear to have changed a little bit. Butt chugging is now a thing as well as stuffing alcohol soaked tampons in your ass. I don’t get it but who am I to judge? This is coming from the guy who smoked chewing tobacco out of a bong for some reason. Anyway, this kid is one hospital visit away from a news press conference to deny he ever had a tube funneling beer into his rectum.
So I guess this is India’s version of America’s Got Talent and what their talent is…is um…well they can break things over their bodies. This chick’s reaction is what was worth it for me. Just shitting curry in her pants the entire performance. I promise you this was her response when they were done with their routine:
How much drugs do you need to be on to think your sunglasses are your other shoe? I don’t know that’s a legit question.
And this lady will probably be voting in the upcoming election, probably has to be responsible for kids, and I’m assuming somehow gets through everyday life believing that deer only cross the street where the signs tell them to. Fargo truly is a special place.
OK I can understand if it’s a really hot day out how this would be relevant, but what the fuck is the point of this thing. This invention is as useful as Stephen Hawking’s legs. Why is water even involved if it doesn’t get you wet?? And to think there are countries with no running water and shit like this exists.
SubwayCreatures 