"People watch from the safety of your phone"
Oh college how I miss thee. Times, however, appear to have changed a little bit. Butt chugging is now a thing as well as stuffing alcohol soaked tampons in your ass. I don’t get it but who am I to judge? This is coming from the guy who smoked chewing tobacco out of a bong for some reason. Anyway, this kid is one hospital visit away from a news press conference to deny he ever had a tube funneling beer into his rectum.
See Iran doesn’t have nuclear capabilities, they’re just all rolling on X and raving. Have a safe weekend everyone!
It’s all fun and games until Gangnam Style comes on and everyone falls through the top floor of the parking garage.
Bring’em out, bring’em out, bring’em out, bring’em out! Have a safe Halloween weekend everyone!
So call me old but a double suicide tequila shot? Is this what the kids are doing these days? Snort a rail of salt, down a double shot of tequila, and squirt a lemon in your eye…hmmmm. And where does that get me exactly? Shit, in college we used to do “strikeouts” aka “cannonballs” which consisted of taking a bong rip, holding it in while you did a shot of whiskey and chugged a beer, then blew the smoke out. At least each one of those ingredients got you messed up without doing permanent damage to your eyes or nose. Can someone please explain to me what the point of this is? Why not just punch me in the face and we’ll call it a day.
TMZ: Barack Obama LOVES George Clooney … not in an “I think we should get married but the law won’t allow us” way … but he LOVES George Clooney … and last night, he showered the actor in jokes and praise at a super-fancy fundraiser in Hollywood. It all went down at Clooney’s mansion — where 150 of George’s closest and richest friends paid $40k-a-plate … which will all go towards the Obama campaign. The event also raised several million in donations … resulting in a $15 mil take for the night. But when it came time for Obama to address the crowd, he instantly brought up his famous image from the Hope poster … which was taken while he was sitting next to Clooney at an event in 2006. “This is the first time that George Clooney has ever been photo-shopped out of a picture,” Obama joked … adding, “Never happened before, never happen again.” Obama then thanked the crowd for their contributions … saying, “We raised a lot of money because people love George … they like me; they love George.” Then came even more praise — “[George] seems to occupy a constant state of grace, and uses his extraordinary talents on behalf of something truly important.” As for the food — the event was catered by Wolfgang Puck … who served up artichoke salad followed by roasted duckling “Peking style” with tiny buns, a duo of lamb and beef cheek with potatoes and Brussels sprouts, and sweet corn tortelloni. The party was packed with famous people — including Billy Crystal, Robert Downey Jr., Barbra Streisand, Byron Allen, Jack Black, Salma Hayek, Tobey Maguire … and of course Clooney’s GF Stacy Keibler.
Seriously, is Clooney second to anyone?! Just gonna have some rich celeb friends over for a 40k plate dinner catered by Wolfgang Puck and, oh yea, the President of the United States is gonna drop by for a beer or two. Dude does who and what he wants. Unreal. Anyone who says that Barack Obama is the most powerful man of the free world may have a tough time arguing that with Clooney pulling shit like this. And you know Keibler was wetter than the ocean watching her man entertain. It’s OK Stacy, you got maybe a few more months until George is bored of you so I hope you treated last night like a networking event.
A night that will go down in history for these Aussies. Imagine waking up the next morning soaking wet cause you went for a dip with the dolphins, there’s a goddamn penguin in your living room, and video evidence to confirm all of this? Maybe throw in a funny Asian and guest celebrity boxer and it would make a great movie.
Has there ever been so much build up to watch a drunk asshole chug 3 beers in his college bedroom? Personally I had him at 31 seconds but I guess that’s up for debate. You know that this is the guy who single handily destroys a house like Chris Farley as Motivational Speaker and is passed out with puke and piss all over himself halfway into every party. Only to wake up towards the end and call out everyone else who is about to call it quits like he’s some kind of marathon drinker. I’ll give credit where credit is due, that was impressive and this guy can drink on my team any day…just not in my house.
Best line that he tried to sneak in…”For those of you who thought I died in the last video, I was just taking a nap, I was high as a kite.”
In response to the cancellation of the annual Hoboken St Patrick’s Day parade, we are sponsoring the first annual Hoboken Lepre-Con. In the spirit of the Christmas-time celebration of Santa-Con, we are inviting all revelers to carry on the spirit and tradition of the annual Hoboken St Patrick’s Day festivities with our Lepre-Con. Dress up in full Leprechaun garb or other Irish festive gear and head over to Hoboken, NJ from 9am onward on Saturday March 3, 2012. Over the next few weeks, we will coordinate with Hoboken’s local watering holes to ensure that they are well prepared to receive us and keep this tradition alive.
More details to follow…
Link: http://www.hobokenlepre-con.com/
Like I said, you can cancel the parade but no way in hell you can stop people from partying. If this goes over anything like Santa-Con then I expect nothing less than headline news the next morning. We’ll try to keep up with the latest news about this but use the link on this page to keep yourself updated!
Came across this story on Deadspin and had to share it! College is an amazing place but cougars are more amazing…
Back in the spring of ’97 my alma mater, the University of Arizona, improbably won the basketball national championship by beating three #1 seeds. As such, the 40,000 students decided to celebrate (read: “riot”). When the cops started to pepper spray the crowd, me and my buddy Rich decided to ditch the overturned cars and bonfires to find our own party.
At that time in Tucson, all liquor sales ended at 1am, so we were determined to pick up a couple of bottles of whatever we could lay our hands on before that time. So we headed over to the closest liquor store that wasn’t completely packed with people with the same idea as ours. Finally, with literally minutes to spare, we got in line at a liquor store with two bottles of vodka and three twenty four packs of beer (yes, it was just for us, but we figured we’d find our friends as the night wore on and we’d be heroes for having the foresight to pick up beer and liquor while they were busy running from the cops in riot gear). I then noticed that the girl ahead of me in line was this hottie from my astronomy class. I didn’t know her name, but that didn’t stop me from chatting her up as we waited to ring up our purchases.
She was in line by herself, so I asked where her friends were. She told me that her mom was in town so her friends had basically ditched her to go hang out with the crowd and get wasted outside the judging eye of an adult. She then said, “But I swear, my mom is really cool!” So I asked what her plan was and she basically said that she was headed back to her mom’s hotel room to watch the kids partying/rioting on the local news. It was then that Rich piped up and invited them to our place to wait on our friends and the inevitable party that would break out once the cops broke up everything. She agreed quickly and introduced herself to Rich as “Ashley” (not her real name since I can’t remember it).
When Ashley got done buying her Zima or whatever girlie drinks she had got she told us she was going to grab her mom and meet us outside. After she exited the store I looked at Rich and said “dibs on Ashley . . . you can have the mom”. We chuckled and he said we would just have to see where the night took us.
We met up with Ashley and her mom outside, who has in her mid to late 40’s and wasn’t all that bad looking. I could see where Ashley got her good looks from. Fast foward to our place and it turns out that Ashley’s mom WAS cool. She even took a couple of bong rips and the four of us were in full-on party mode.
I proceeded to get hammered, as did Ashley. By this time it was about 3 in the morning and our friends hadn’t yet shown up, but I didn’t care because I could tell things were going great with Ashley and that I was probably going to bang her. Rich was a good friend and had taken Ashley’s mom on a tour of the house (which is hilarious since it was a total typical off-campus dump). So I went to make my move and Ashley was receptive. After about ten minutes of making out I suggested we go to my room. Ashley quickly said yes and we got up to go. As we were walking down the hallway though we could hear the unmistakable sound of Rich banging the ever-loving crap out of Ashley’s mom. She was literally screaming, telling Rich “HARDER! HARDER!”
Ashley got this awful look on her face and I knew at that moment that not only was I not getting laid that night, but that I would probably have to drop that easy-A astronomy class just so we would never have to see each other again. Ashley then started knocking loudly on Rich’s door, trying to yell over her mom’s screaming, telling her that they had to leave. Ashley’s mom either didn’t hear or didn’t care because they kept going at it for another 20 minutes while we stood outside the door to Rich’s bedroom listening to him defile that cougar in what I could only imagine was every way possible.
When the screaming and squeaking bedsprings died down to just some heavy breathing, Ashley knocked again and tried the door handle. The door opened right up (of course he didn’t lock it – that would have been the smart thing to do) and there was Ashley’s mom, naked, wiping her vag with a handtowel while Rich laid on the bed, equally naked, laughing to himself. Ashley told her mom to get dressed and that she would meet her outside because she wanted to go home.
As Ashley’s mom walked out she told us thanks for the good time and then said to Rich, “I hope Ash isn’t too pissed. If she tells my husband I’m so screwed.”
I saw Ashley every once in a while on campus after that, but we made it a point to never make eye-contact. I couldn’t be pissed at Rich though. I did tell him that he had to take the mom.
SubwayCreatures 