‘The Drunk Guys Who Stole The Penguin’ Is The Greatest Story I Heard All Weekend

 

A night that will go down in history for these Aussies. Imagine waking up the next morning soaking wet cause you went for a dip with the dolphins, there’s a goddamn penguin in your living room, and video evidence to confirm all of this? Maybe throw in a funny Asian and guest celebrity boxer and it would make a great movie.

This New Drink Just Might Save Our Lives!

 

MERCY is a non-alcoholic, non-caffeinated beverage containing nutritional supplements proven to help your body as it processes alcohol. This includes both hangover symptoms and alcohol flush (an uncomfortable and embarrassing condition that mainly affects those of Asian descent). Drinking MERCY provides both immediate and cumulative health benefits. The ingredients in each serving of MERCY helps your body detox, boosting your body’s defenses and replenishing key nutrients lost during a night of drinking. MERCY, taken during or shortly after alcohol consumption, encourages your body to produce more glutathione, a naturally occurring substance that neutralizes dangerous free radicals and helps the liver remove toxins such as acetaldehyde, the unhealthy byproduct of alcohol and the main cause of hangovers and alcohol flush.

 

Look at her! Just eye fucking me with rays of sunshine blistering out from behind. I heard when you crack the can a beam of light shoots out along with the joyful sound of laughing babies. It this true? Is this finally the drink that will save my Thursday – Tuesday hangovers? If so, I’ll take a case and give me 10,000 shares of stock! With my big birthday weekend coming up I will be pounding these like bottles of water in the desert. Now where can I find them…?