Tag: chris farley

So Did You Hear Of The Guy Who Could Chug 3 Beers With No Hands In 29 Secs?

subwaycreatures

 

Has there ever been so much build up to watch a drunk asshole chug 3 beers in his college bedroom? Personally I had him at 31 seconds but I guess that’s up for debate. You know that this is the guy who single handily destroys a house like Chris Farley as Motivational Speaker and is passed out with puke and piss all over himself halfway into every party. Only to wake up towards the end and call out everyone else who is about to call it quits like he’s some kind of marathon drinker. I’ll give credit where credit is due, that was impressive and this guy can drink on my team any day…just not in my house.

Best line that he tried to sneak in…”For those of you who thought I died in the last video, I was just taking a nap, I was high as a kite.”

Best Description Of A Car Crash Ever!

subwaycreatures

 

So I think this guy should drink decaf. I thought my dad gave the best descriptions of car accidents until I came across this gem! I love this guy. Imagine what living with him would be like?

So dad, how was your day at work? Well I was trying to make copies today and BAM the friggin’ copier started eating my paper so I tried to pull it out and then all the sudden my tie got stuck and WHAP it started sucking me into the copier! I FLIPPED the machine over and people came over to help but they couldn’t get to me in time before I was sucking face with the copier. Oh man! I’m fine but someone took a video of it and when I watched it I was like AHHHHHH! DAMN!

Who the fuck am I kidding, this guy doesn’t work in an office. All I think of when I see him is Chris Farley and if this news station was smart, they would hire him for field reporting. I would watch the news every single night!