"People watch from the safety of your phone"
OK I can understand if it’s a really hot day out how this would be relevant, but what the fuck is the point of this thing. This invention is as useful as Stephen Hawking’s legs. Why is water even involved if it doesn’t get you wet?? And to think there are countries with no running water and shit like this exists.
In this world men are classified into two groups, ass-men and titty-men. Anyone who knows me knows I’m an ass man so when I saw this product I knew I had to promote it. Look, I don’t care if you’re wearing underwear that is padded, at least you’re making the effort plus you’ll probably start breaking guy’s necks left and right. I mean just look at this chick’s ass. Yes it was nice to begin with, but look at that after photo. I can set a goddamn drink down on that thing. And you know what, I don’t care once I find out your ass is fake. That’s what the Spank Bank is for.
