The Snooki Of Russia Sounds Like A Goat And Wants Food Now!


Goddamnit times are tough all around the world! The Middle East has an uprising every other day, Muslims are pissed at the US for subway posters that just went up, and women in this country are roaming the streets drunk as fuck and half naked looking for munchies. How in the hell did this woman not slice her femoral artery kicking that window in? This HAS to be an everyday occurrence because no one even reacts to her bahh-ing like a goat, rolling around in broken glass. Just another dark day for Russia I guess.

For All You Mothers And Sluts Out There, Don’t Worry; PantyO Is Here!


An unusual range of underwear is aiming to remind women to perform their daily kegel exercises. The ingenious PantyO, created by a Phoenix, Arizona-based clothing design company, is stitched at the crotch with a silicon ‘extension’, intended to sit inside a woman’s private parts while wearing the underwear. The one-inch long instrument serves as a ‘focus point’ for women who are medically advised to perform the pelvic floor exercises every day. The exercise itself involves consistently contracting and relaxing the muscles that belong to the pelvic floor and various instruments have been invented to assist the exercise. The PantyO comes in two designs; one is priced at $52.99 and another is priced at $85. Both versions feature Swarovski crystal details. Dayna Garrett, who is married with four children, told that she will be releasing more designs soon and is even planning a men’s underwear line. It will not feature the kegel exercise extension for obvious reasons. She hinted that the men’s design will, however, have its own unique perks. ‘It’s never been done before,’ she said of the top secret new product. ‘The design is totally different from the way men’s [underwear] is designed now.’ She also added that she believes women should be performing 90 kegel exercises per day. But she also admitted that she has had no medical-related assistance in designing and producing her product. Her personal gynaecologist, however, thought it was a ‘fantastic’ product idea. Kegel exercises are said to improve bladder control and help strengthen the pelvic wall in preparation for childbirth. For mothers, it is also said to restore a pelvic wall’s strength after a woman has given birth. Medical information provided on PantyO’s website state that the exercises also help women ‘focus’ and ‘release stress throughout the day’. ‘A tighter vaginal passage increases sexual pleasure and makes you more orgasmic!!!’ it adds.


Dayna Garrett had no medical-related assistance designing her product and thinks women should be doing 90 kegel exercises a day. What could possibly go wrong?!