‘Kapooya’ Lady Will Go Viral By The End Of The Day

 

Why are ghetto black people the best storytellers of all time? Is it the enthusiasm? Is it the dramatic reenactments? Is it the extra words they throw in that I have no idea the meaning of? Whatever it is, they should always be the first person a reporter goes to when there’s a story to cover. It could be something as boring as insider trading on Wall St. and I’m 100% sure they could turn it into the greatest story ever.

14 Year Old Girl Runs Away From Home, Accidentally Gets Deported, Now Pregnant In Colombian Prison

WFAA:

“Distraught over the loss of her grandfather and her parents’ divorce,” 14-year-old Jakadrien Turner ran away from home, WFAA Dallas reports. Arrested for shoplifting in Houston, she used a fake name that actually belonged to a 22-year-old undocumented immigrant wanted for arrest. What follows is a nightmarish series of mistaken identities and institutional failures, culminating in a teen girl trapped alone and pregnant in a third-world prison. ICE [U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement] officials stepped in… took the girl’s fingerprints, but somehow didn’t confirm her identity and deported her to Colombia, where the Colombian government gave her a work card and released her. Jakadrien, who is African-American, does not know Spanish. She had no known ties to Colombia. After months of searching, Jakadrien’s grandmother tracked the missing teen down on Facebook, discovering her in Bogota with an apparent job as a maid. But that was a month ago, and the Colombian government now has her in a locked detention facility and won’t release her, despite her family’s request. ICE says it is “investigating,” and “also noted there have been instances where ICE has seen cases of individuals providing inaccurate information regarding who they are and their immigration status for ulterior motives.”

 

Talk about the snowball effect! You run away from home, get caught stealing, get deported to Colombia (out of all places), and now you’re knocked up in a foreign prison. The Hollywood script has to already have been started on this one so call up Denzel cause I’m smelling Oscars. I mean I haven’t heard of this kind of luck since the guy who was struck by lightning for the 6th time last summer. What are the chances she uses a fake name of a girl around the same age who is an undocumented immigrant wanted for arrest from Colombia?! Either way, I feel for ya Jakadrien and hopefully you learned to pick an American name next time you run into the law.