Man Is Saved Last Second After Trying To Jump In Front Of Train By Colombian Cop

 

Is this as big of a problem everywhere else than it is in NYC? Every other week I feel like someone is flinging themselves on the subway tracks here. Out of all the ways you could kill yourself why would you jump in front of a train pulling into a station? The trains aren’t moving at top speed and there’s a chance it won’t even kill you. I would be so pissed if I was trying to kill myself and just got my legs steamrolled. If things were bad enough before, NOW you have even more reason to kill yourself. Here are my top 5 worst ways of offing yourself:

5) Jumping off a building – I’m terrified of heights as it is and the fact that I could accidentally land on someone on the ground is pretty unfair of me.

4) Cutting down the river – I have no problem with the sight of blood but slitting my wrists kinda seems painful and the fact that I have to sit there and watch myself bleed out sounds boring.

3) Jumping in front of a train – See above.

2) Setting yourself on fire – Why would anyone want to torture themselves like this? You literally live most of the time you’re burning and going through the worst pain ever.

1) Diving in a wood chipper – I know this sounds crazy but I heard a story a little while back of a guy who took his wallet out of his pocket and nose dived into one of these bad boys. I only hope it was a quick death for his sake.

 

14 Year Old Girl Runs Away From Home, Accidentally Gets Deported, Now Pregnant In Colombian Prison

WFAA:

“Distraught over the loss of her grandfather and her parents’ divorce,” 14-year-old Jakadrien Turner ran away from home, WFAA Dallas reports. Arrested for shoplifting in Houston, she used a fake name that actually belonged to a 22-year-old undocumented immigrant wanted for arrest. What follows is a nightmarish series of mistaken identities and institutional failures, culminating in a teen girl trapped alone and pregnant in a third-world prison. ICE [U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement] officials stepped in… took the girl’s fingerprints, but somehow didn’t confirm her identity and deported her to Colombia, where the Colombian government gave her a work card and released her. Jakadrien, who is African-American, does not know Spanish. She had no known ties to Colombia. After months of searching, Jakadrien’s grandmother tracked the missing teen down on Facebook, discovering her in Bogota with an apparent job as a maid. But that was a month ago, and the Colombian government now has her in a locked detention facility and won’t release her, despite her family’s request. ICE says it is “investigating,” and “also noted there have been instances where ICE has seen cases of individuals providing inaccurate information regarding who they are and their immigration status for ulterior motives.”

 

Talk about the snowball effect! You run away from home, get caught stealing, get deported to Colombia (out of all places), and now you’re knocked up in a foreign prison. The Hollywood script has to already have been started on this one so call up Denzel cause I’m smelling Oscars. I mean I haven’t heard of this kind of luck since the guy who was struck by lightning for the 6th time last summer. What are the chances she uses a fake name of a girl around the same age who is an undocumented immigrant wanted for arrest from Colombia?! Either way, I feel for ya Jakadrien and hopefully you learned to pick an American name next time you run into the law.