From Pravda, the story of a Moscow woman who was stabbed in the heart by her husband, but whose silicone breast implants absorbed the blade, preventing her from dying. Fake tits save lives. Because the implants — inserted five years prior, at the request of the husband — were so large, the knife “did not even reach the thorax.”
Well ain’t that a bitch! The very money you spent on your wife’s fake tits comes back to haunt you in the long run. How big were these monsters that the knife couldn’t even reach this chick’s heart? And what must they have felt like?! My advice to this guy? Stab her ANYWHERE else on her body. Why would you go for the one spot that she has the most padding?! I know hindsight is always 20/20 but if you really want your wife dead, I’m just saying plan it out better.