HuffPost: Cops jailed a Florida man and his girlfriend on Monday after the two allegedly attacked his mother because she used his salsa and taco sauce without permission, according to police reports obtained by the Smoking Gun. Christopher Phillips, 23, started arguing with his mom, 55-year-old Rebecca, “because Rebecca used Christopher’s salsa and taco sauce on her dinner,” an officer wrote. The saucy swindle apparently enraged the man — he allegedly put his mother in such a crushing headlock that her glasses broke. Christopher Phillips then went into another room to relay the horrific news to his girlfriend, Lisa Tyre, who then also began yelling at the mother. That argument escalated, leaving Rebecca Phillips with two smacks to the face and a cut lip. When her son wouldn’t let her have the keys to her car to leave, she walked to her husband’s workplace, where they called cops. Christopher Phillips was charged with domestic battery and held on a $750 bond. Tyre was released on her own recognizance the same day she was arrested.
So I’m gonna go out on a limb and say Christopher is on the left? Or no, the right? I’m sure the cops asked the same thing when they showed up. OK, so which one of you is Chris?
Are times really that tough that you need to pull a power move like a headlock on your own mother for eating your taco sauce? I mean how hard is it to replace taco sauce and salsa? Imagine if she ate his filet mignon that had been defrosting? Good ol’ Chris would be on death row right now. Nah, just kidding. Something tells me Christopher has never had a nice steak in his life if he’s this bent outta shape about 99 cent taco. Kinda reminds me of the time when my college roommate ate my last Ramen Noodles and I threw his laptop out the window. Seemed like a fair trade at the time.