The Snowball Slingshot May Just Be One Of The Biggest Gimmicks I’ve Ever Seen

Picture 22Hammacher: This is the snowball-hurling slingshot that brings snowball battles into the 21st century. A baseball-sized snowball is placed into the slingshot’s muzzle, drawn back, and fired at opposing forces, helping to facilitate their hasty withdrawal or surrender. The distance a snowball travels depends on the force applied to the medical-grade elastic tubing, allowing children to engage in close-range confrontations. Made of durable, polypropylene/styrene-based plastic that withstands the rigors of winter play. Includes target for practicing accuracy. Ages 8 and up.

 

Did I mention it fires at 35 MPH and up to 100 yards?! No? That’s because I completely just made that up. Pointless if you ask me. I have no idea what the mechanics of this thing are but what happened to just packing snow in your hands and throwing it? Especially when you have a deadly accurate howitzer arm like myself? I’m sorry that I don’t want to pack a snowball and load it like a Civil War musket with a rubber band lever and shit. Save it for the rookies. Besides, it’s 2013 and post Global Warming…it doesn’t snow anymore.

So Did Anyone Else Catch That Bullshit Failed Assassination Attempt In Bulgaria Last Night?

SkyNews: The 25-year-old who pulled the gun on the head of Bulgaria’s Turkish minority party leader while he was speaking at a party conference was only trying to frighten his target. Police have revealed that Oktay Enimehmedov, an ethnic Turk originally from the eastern city of Burgas, thought he would die in the attack and left a letter at his Sofia flat. Police psychology institute chief Nedelcho Stoychev said the attacker did not intend to kill Dogan but only to frighten him and “get his five minutes of fame.” Ahmed Dogan, swiped away his attacker’s arm before any shot was fired and the weapon appeared to jam. Dramatic video of the attack against the 58-year-old leader of the liberal Movement for Rights and Freedoms party quickly circulated online. Several men wrestled Enimehmedov to the ground and he is seen in the footage being punched and kicked. Police experts examined the small handgun and said it would not have threatened Dogan’s life, even if fired from close quarters. Gas pistols are mainly used for self-defence and can fire tear gas cartridges. Prosecutors in Sofia have charged Enimehmedov with hooliganism and making death threats. Deputy chief prosecutor Borislav Sarafov said he faces up to five years in prison on the hooliganism charge and up to six years in prison on the death threat charge.

 

When I saw this last night I was thinking this is a scene straight out of a movie. Manchurian Candidate who fucks up the assassination and then the Bulgarian government has to cover it up and there’s a massive publicity that hinders the cover up. But no. Ho hum, just another asshole trying to get his 5 minutes in the limelight. Officials said the gun wouldn’t have even killed the guy. What’s that shit all about? Pretty sure a BB gun could still do damage if pressed up against someone’s temple. The best part was clearly the guy getting kicked around the stage like an empty can on the street. Then there was a lot of dirka dirka yelling and it was all over. Thanks Bulgaria, I have no idea where you are on a map.

The Delta Six Gaming Controller Is A Real Thing Now

 

I’m not a gamer. Haven’t played a video game since Mario Cart and Golden Eye half baked in my dorm room and despite the overly dramatic trailer for this ‘Delta Six’ gun controller, it makes me want to take it up again. I might be a littler older now but shit like this brings out the little kid in me. You will absolutely see me dressed in camo and boots with this gun sitting in my living room shooting at the TV.

Man Pulls Gun On Neighbor Who Farted Outside His Apartment

A 72-year-old Teaneck, New Jersey resident was taken into custody by police last night after he reportedly aimed a gun at a neighbor who farted outside his door. Daniel Collins and the unidentified victim, 47, live in the same apartment complex, and had apparently been feuding for “some time” over “noise complaints” prior to yesterday’s incident. According to Det. Lt. Andrew McGurr, Collins snapped and pulled out a handgun after “hearing [his neighbor] pass gas in front of his apartment door.” He denied brandishing a weapon, but upon searching his vehicle, police officers uncovered a .32-caliber Taurus revolver under the front passenger seat. Collins was subsequently charged with aggravated assault, possession of a weapon for an unlawful purpose, unlawful possession of a firearm and making terroristic threats.

 

Looks like a simple fart was the straw that broke the camels back here. And don’t tell me ‘wow that musta been a huge fart for him to hear it.’ No, no, no. I live in an apartment as well and my walls are paper thin. I can hear my neighbors conversations through my wall like I’m in the room with them. Not the best of situations but you turn the TV up or play music and problem solved!

Sidenote: Thank Christ my neighbors don’t own a gun. I know this cause they would’ve shot me by now.