Posts Tagged ‘tim tebow’

rex-ryan-jets-tattoo-beach

 

I mean this HAS to be photoshopped, right??? No way even Rex is dumb enough to get this tat on his arm. His naked wife, wearing a Sanchez jersey, Tebowing?! You know that’s permanent right dude? And why stiff McElroy? Guy was your best QB. At least make your wife a Ginger or something. Throw the guy a bone!

Let’s say the tattoo IS real. No wonder he had to play Sanchez all season, he had the Mexican branded on his arm over his wife’s naked body. Does this not weird anyone else out?! And how do you think Woody Johnson feels about this? Um, Rex you can stick around one more season as long as you cut the bullshit and pull Sanchez’s cock out of your mouth. Oh OK, I’ll just go ink up my arm with the three biggest controversies of my career and rock that shit in the public. Fuckin’ Rex Ryan. No doubt in my mind he has a naked water fountain statue of Mark Sanchez in his garden at home.

Side note: Hopefully the Jets can get a good QB wearing the number 8 and that jersey could be a quick fix at the tattoo parlor. Also, how mad do you think Tebow is that Rex has his naked wife Tebowing?

boredom

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BroBible: Watch This Dirty, Dirty Hockey Goal

TheChive: Escalator Gets Hoisted To The 101st Floor Of WTC

HuffPost: NASA Swamped With Calls About End Of World

DeadSpin: Knicks Tried To Shop Amar’e Stoudemire For Free

Gothamist: Botched Butt Implants Can’t Be Fixed With Krazy Glue

SitchNews: This Guy Has Some Sick Kicking Skills

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Clip Nation: The Armless Ping Pong Player

Coed Magazine: Yes, This Happened

Elite Daily: Tim Tebow Dumps Girlfriend

Mashable: Fan Duel Is Something I Can Fuck With

Adweek: It looks like New York Jets quarterback Tim Tebow is finally getting a starring role. Unfortunately for him, it won’t be on the field against the Jaguars this Sunday. It’s in this new ad for TiVo. The company announced in two videos last month that Tebow would be its new brand ambassador—and not just because his name sounds almost identical to its own. “He is a highly Googled, highly buzzed-about, talked-about athlete as there is in the world,” CEO Tom Rogers told Bloomberg. “We’re going to make much better use of him than the Jets have this season.” Well, have they? The new spot opens with Tebow lounging in a spare living room with two children explaining that they just got a TiVo. “Mom did a TiVo search on you … Now, whenever you’re on a show, any show, it gets recorded,” says the sister. “And then, she watches you in sloooow-mo,” chimes in the shaggy headed little brother. “My dad is not your biggest fan right now,” says the girl. “I can’t see why,” Tebow replies with a smile. “TiVo makes TV about a thousand times better,” he says in the closing voiceover. If this whole football thing doesn’t work out, he won’t have acting to fall back on, either.

 

My name’s Tim Tebow and I don’t know what to do with my hands right now and for some reason I keep shrugging my shoulders to make my talking look more animated! Jesus Christ TT, I’d say don’t quit your day job but that doesn’t seem to be working out for ya either. Watching these TiVo ads is like walking in on your parents having sex. I’m just cringing at the awkwardness of him trying to read lines and answer questions not related to football or the bible. Tim just relax! This is about the most action you’re going to see all year minus the sweat you break praying before game time. Make the best of it because this is most likely your future talking to a camera and not playing football in front of it. Tebow, makes Tivo…about a thousand times more awkward.

-Thanks to John at AdWeek for this

 

Big deal, lady! I’m 99% sure that every guy that gets drafted except for Jesus Christ a.k.a. Tim Tebow, gets laid when they are drafted. And I’m sure even Tim Tebow at least got a handy that night. Mr. Irrelevant doesn’t need your pity fuck so go grab attention elsewhere!

By the way…I live in NYC too, what’s good?

ESPN: Unusually quiet in recent weeks, the New York Jets shattered the calm Wednesday by completing a trade for polarizing quarterback Tim Tebow. The Jets sent two picks — a fourth-rounder and sixth-rounder in 2012 — to the Denver Broncos in exchange for a seventh-round selection. Tebow, a former first-round pick, went on the trading block Monday when the Broncos secured free agent Peyton Manning, who signed a five-year, $96 million contract. Several teams expressed interest, including Tebow’s hometown Jacksonville Jaguars, but the Jets — perceived as a sleeper at the outset — pulled off the splashiest trade of the offseason. Tebow — he has three years remaining on his contract, with a base salary in 2012 of $1.1 million — will join a cast of backups behind incumbent Mark Sanchez, but his presence could ignite a quarterback controversy. Cornerback Antonio Cromartie tweeted before the trade that “we don’t need Tebow,” expressing his confidence in Sanchez and the current roster.

I’m legit sick to my stomach right now. Not because I think the Jets just became a better football team, because clearly they didn’t, but because out of all the sports figures I hate in the world, Tim Tebow ranks #1. And worse, now he’s in the NY market and we all get to listen to the media blow his virgin dick day in and day out. Seriously, the Jets have 4 QBs now, NONE of which can actually throw a football.

It’s pretty funny to see the Jets fans different reactions right now. I’m seeing people writing off Woody Johnson to people actually Tebowing. First of all, don’t start that fuckin shit again! Second, most of you who are jizzing your pants right now are the same people who were ragging on Tebow last season so make up your goddamn minds. Anyway, isn’t your fat Kool Aid shaped coach suppose to come out and guarantee a Super Bowl victory right about now?

 

 

Listen, we’re all sitting here scratching our heads, wondering what the fuck happened this morning when Peyton Manning said he’s taking his talents to Denver. Denver?! Thin air, freezing temperatures, shitty football team, etc. But how about the emotions of this Arizona news woman when she heard first hand that the Cardinals were not getting Manning. FUCK! Professionalism out the door faster than a guest on Maury when he finds out his girl is preggos. It’s almost like she was sitting on her couch at home and just naturally reacted. I only wish the video was longer so we could see when she had to turn back around and face the cameras.

Side note: How fast were the Bronco fans to jump off the Tebow wagon as soon as they heard Peyton was interested in Denver. I officially hate them more than Tim Tebow now.

 

Dallas. Check. Atlanta. Check. Next stop…15-1 Green Bay. All corny headline titles aside, I cannot wait until Justin Tuck separates Aaron Rodgers’ shoulders. Everyone keeps saying ‘I wonder what defense will show up’ or ‘I wonder what Eli will show up.’ How about the defense that has showed up for the past 2 weeks just embarrassing the opponents offense or the Eli that is on pace for another Super Bowl MVP truck? What’s even better is when Hakeem Nicks and Victor Cruz are discount double checking and salsa dancing all over the endzone. Also, will someone please shut BJ Raji the hell up? Ya didn’t do shit all year and now you’re gonna open your mouth? You’re Jersey, you ski in your jeans. Sunday can’t come soon enough and I expect every Giants fan to be sporting their blue this weekend!

Side Note: Fuck Tim Tebow and the halo he rides in on. I hate the Patriots but this ESPN coverage NEEDS TO BE STOPPED before my head explodes! Go Pats.