Tag: NFL

Cardinals Safety Rashad Johnson Tweets Pic Of His Severed Finger [WARNING: GRUESOME]

subwaycreatures

BU5HqcdCQAANNRG.jpg_large

NFL: Arizona Cardinals safety Rashad Johnson lost the top of his left middle finger after tackling the New Orleans Saints‘ Darren Sproles on a punt return during Sunday’s loss, according to The Arizona Republic’s Kent Somers. According to Somers, Johnson came to the sideline after the play with a finger injury. He took off his glove, and the tip of his finger remained behind. Johnson, by our count, then stayed in the game after the injury. Johnson had surgery after the game to shave his finger down to the first knuckle, according to the report. The bone was exposed so infection is a possible concern.

 

Nasty stuff right here. I’d love to know how it happened and the fact that he still went back in the game is nuts.

NY Jets Invite First Female To Scouting Combine Because They Are Attention Whores

subwaycreatures

DailyMail: A 28-year-old woman from New York is set to become the first female to be given a try out for the NFL. Lauren Silberman had never kicked anything more than a soccer ball in an organized game before she started practicing long-range field goals. Now she has been given a chance at an NFL regional scouting combine on Sunday at the New York Jets’ training facility in Florham Park, New Jersey. Speaking about her chances of getting the NFL call, Silberman said: ‘I am working hard to prepare but I am also realistic about my chances. ‘I hope my willingness to put myself out there inspires others to seize opportunities and challenges. The support from around the world has been so heartening.’ Her goal for the weekend is to kick perfect 60-yard field goals. However, the odds are against her – scouts are likely to want to see her connect on extra points and chip-shot field goals with some consistency before moving on to the heavy kicking.

Cue the circus music once again. Oh wait…it’s still on loop? I guess the Revis trade rumors are not enough press for these starved attention whores. Lauren Silberman has become the latest victim of the three ringed circus the Jets call an organization. She will never make the team. I’m not saying that because she’s a female, I’m saying that because she’s never kicked a football in her life and at age 28 she’s just gonna walk onto the field and make the Jets? Well…I guess I’ve heard crazier stories but this is far from ‘Invincible.’ She’s going up against guys who have done this for a living. But don’t get me wrong, I would actually love it if she made the team, took up a roster spot, and there was controversy all season about how to utilize her on Special Teams. Imagine Lauren coming out for an onside kick to win the game? Now that I would pay a PSL to see!

Something Actually Happened At The Pro Bowl Yesterday…A Fight Broke Out

subwaycreatures

 

Here’s the thing about the Pro Bowl, no one including the players want to go. They had to move the game to the off week between the conference championships and the Super Bowl because of low ratings and even then I chose to watch a Full Throttle Saloon marathon over it. So I guess the 10 fans who went all got seats in the same section and brawled out to keep the day interesting. Even the players on the field were glad to see something going on.

 

Tiki Barber Is Now Whoring Himself Out For A Living

subwaycreatures

Deadspin: It’s been six years since Tiki Barber retired from football, which means we’ve spent six years watching him desperately try and failat becoming some kind of relevant media personality. Having washed out of the television business, Tiki is on to much sadder things. He recently co-founded Thuzio, a company that allows regular Joes like you and me to pay large sums of money in exchange for the chance to hang out with famous athletes. You can have Ryan Tannehill (!) show up at your fantasy draft for the low cost of $5,000. Ivan Nova will show up at your party for the low price of $4,000. Thuzio is like an escort service for especially lonely sports fans. The most depressing thing of all, though, is the fact that Tiki Barber is the cheapest athlete in Thuzio’s stable. Tiki’s highest appearance fee is $1,000 for a round of golf or party attendance. Larry Holmes costs $6,250 per hour. Shit, even Tim Hardaway, the noted ex-homophobe, fetches a higher price than poor Tiki. Now, it’s possible that Tiki’s fees could be marked down as a way to make him more accessible and thus drum up good publicity for the company. Still: getting trumped by the likes of Ryan Tannehill and Tim Hardaway is sad in any context. And then there’s this: an auction for Tiki’s services as a karaoke partner. So far one bid for $350 has been placed.

Oh how the mighty have fallen! Ex-communicated from your old team, ditch your preggo wife for an intern, fired as an NFL analysis on NBC, ignored by every NFL team in the league after trying to make a comeback, a failed tryout with the NY Jets Flight Crew, turned down as a peanut vendor in MetLife Stadium, and now this. Just whoring himself out to people who have more money than they know what to do with. My question is what in the hell is Ryan Tannehill and Ivan Nova doing wrapped up in this prostitution ring? Does anyone have ANY pride left??

UPDATE: We’ve got a Tiki Barber sighting!

Why Is This The First Time I’ve Ever Heard Of The Florence Fight Club?

subwaycreatures

 

Walking into the emergency room with your eyeball in your hand? Getting all your teeth knocked out? Possibly dying in the arena? This sport makes American football look like soccer. I mean Jesus Christ, all this for a white cow?? Imagine what they would do for a diamond studded Super Bowl ring! The JETS sure could use a number of these guys to become a relevant NFL team again. One-eyed Willy could replace Santonio Holmes and still have a more productive year, the ripped black dude would obviously replace Bart Scott, and this dude would stand in for Mark Sanchez as well as steal all his women.

Check Out Forbes List Of The 10 Most Overpaid NFL Players

subwaycreatures

No surprise three Jets players land on this list and I’m actually shocked Mark Sanchez isn’t on it. I get Cromartie has about 52 mouths to feed but dude, your production to salary ratio blows dick! Santonio hasn’t been relevant since the Jets playoff run a couple seasons ago and David Harris still plays? I thought he owned a used car dealership in Jersey.

EliteDaily:

The List:

1. David Harris

New York Jets

2012 Salary: $12 milllion

Good linebacker, but the second-highest paid defensive player in the league? Harris has been All-Pro once (second team in 2009) in five years.

 

2. Karlos Dansby

Miami Dolphins

2012 salary: $10.7 million

League’s second highest paid linebacker has been a steady performer for eight seasons but never an All Pro.

 

3. Johnathan Joseph

Houston Texans

2012 salary: $9.75 million

Terrific last season, but the corner drafted in the first round in 2006 has started a full 16-game season once (2009) and been named All-Pro once (2011).

 

4. Marcedes Lewis

Jacksonville Jaguars

2012 Salary: $9.6 million

Receiver’s big 2010 season (58 catches, 700 yards, 10 TDs) was his only standout performance in a six-year career.

 

5. Santonio Holmes

New York Jets

2012 salary: $9.25 million

League’s sixth-highest paid receiver has broken 1,000 yards just once, with Pittsburgh in 2009. Steelers let Holmes and his questionable attitude go for a fifth round draft pick to the Jets, who promptly gave him a five-year, $45 million.

 

6. DeAngelo Williams

Carolina Panthers

2012 salary: $8.7 million

Running back was very good in 2008 and 2009, otherwise limited contributions through six seasons.

 

7. Antonio Cromartie

New York Jets

2012 salary: $8.25 million

Corner sees a lot of action as opponents prefer to pick on him instead of Darrelle Revis on the other side.

Cromartie’s high-risk, high-reward style leads to big plays but also a lot of burn marks.

 

8. Sidney Rice

Seattle Seahawks

2012 salary: $8.2 million

Wide receiver has had trouble staying on the field throughout a five-year career, doing little beyond his 1,312-yard All Pro season of 2009.

 

9. Vernon Davis

San Francisco 49ers

2012 salary: $8 million

Tight end had 78 receptions and 13 TDs in his 2009 Pro Bowl season. Didn’t approach those numbers in any of his other five seasons.

 

10. Darren McFadden

Oakland Raiders

2012 salary: $7.8 million

Running back has played just 46 of a possible 65 games since the Raiders took him No. 4 overall in the 2008 draft. McFadden rushed for 1,157 yards in 2010; no more than 614 in any other season.

Flula, The German Nazi, Doesn’t Understand Football’s Name

subwaycreatures

 

Hey Flula, can you’s explains to meh vhy in the German soccer dey fall ven no one evens touches them? Vhy do dey do dis? And den dey roll avound on deh ground like dey’ve been shot by American sniper. Vhy? And vhy can no one score goal in German soccer? I feel like vatching German soccer is 90 minutes of my life I vill never get back. I don’t understand deh name soccer or German football…should be called German Vagineball ifs yous ask meh.

Douche Bag Reporter Forces Kid To Give Greatest Reaction Ever

subwaycreatures

 

So this was my face while watching that horrendous officiating during the Atlanta/Denver game last night. 4 hour football game that highlighted more flags and booth reviews than all of Sunday combined. Never good when the refs are huddled longer than the players on the field, just to walk the ball 5 yards down. Don’t blame Michael Turner one bit for going to a bar right afterwards and getting sloshed. Hey Roger Goodell, figure it out!

Aaron Rodgers Lookalike Goes Bonkers In Union Square Station

subwaycreatures

 

Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Pretty sure Aaron Rodgers was in town looking for the Vince Lombardi trophy that he probably thought he deserved but ended up in the subway at Union Square hopping around in a woman’s bathing suit feeling the music of the bird. Poor guy…someone throw some change at him.

 

Super Bowl Weekend Is Here And I’m So Excited I’m About To Shit My Pants

subwaycreatures

 

It’s been 2 long weeks, tons of Patriot shit talking, and 50 Giant song remixes later but Super Bowl weekend has finally reared it’s fuckin head. Never in my life have I wished a Friday to be a Sunday more than right now. I’m so pumped for this game that I actually feel bad for the people I’ll be around this weekend because it’s probably the only thing I’ll be talking about. Giants go in as a 3 point underdog which is exactly where they want to be. Yea, they might have cooled off a little bit after being on fire for the last 4 weeks but even after a cool down they are better than the Pats.  Everyone outside New England including every animal that would be on Noah’s Ark that are predicting a Giants win this Sunday. Yea I sound cocky but haven’t the Giants given every NY fan a right to be? Hardest schedule in the NFL and they are playing in the Super Bowl? If you need me, I’ll be setting up camp in the Canyon of Heroes for a great spot to watch Eli carry the Lombardi Trophy down to Gracie Manor. I said it last time and I’ll say it again…all in? I’m fuckin’ balls deep!

By the way, this never gets old…