Posts Tagged ‘soccer’

 

The World Cup is almost over so I have to get this all out of my system fast. I wonder if this is how soccer players act while not on the pitch (field for us Americans)?

Side note: As good as that video was, nothing tops this one for me…

 

 

 

 

Hate soccer. Absolutely despise it. But as long as my country is still in the hunt then I’ll support them to the end. That being said, this video gave me the chills. USA all the way!

 

 

Soccer Coach Wins Dive Of The Year

Posted: June 10, 2014 by subwaycreatures in Funny, Sports
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With the World Cup right around the corner and every American about to become the biggest soccer fan of their life, I felt this was only fitting to post. Just look at the delayed reaction–the dramatic fall to the ground. I’ve seen videos of Taliban members getting sniped to the ground less dramatic than this. Isn’t this the point where someone just throws some of that magic spray on his neck and he gets up completely fine?

 

9gtku

Side note: Can’t wait to see all of this shit for the next few weeks:

 

 

The Greatest Soccer Goal Celebration Ever!

Posted: February 12, 2014 by subwaycreatures in Awesome, Funny
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I might have just gained a little respect for soccer after this goal celebration. Some bad ass shit right there.

Soccer Hooligans Take Fastest Escalator Ride Ever

Posted: September 26, 2013 by subwaycreatures in Sports
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Fuckin soccer fans man. Most passionate, craziest people in sports. If they aren’t killing their star player for an own goal, they’re beheading referees on the field. And imagine what the bottom of this escalator looks like? Probably my biggest nightmare being claustrophobic. Wonder if this was done on purpose to get these assholes out faster?

 

I know I’ve posted something about this game in the past but the fact that there are more and more clips of it make me feel like this is getting closer to the U.S. This NEEDS to happen now! I don’t care about all the insurance formalities, just get me a bunch of these bubble suits and I won’t even need a soccer ball. I just wanna run top speed and superman into someone else.

Side note: Despite playing in a totally protective bubble, how many soccer players do you think would still roll around on the ground and act hurt playing this? All of them?

 

Being a soccer goalkeeper looks about as safe as living in the Gaza Strip these days. Just kidding, soccer players wouldn’t last 5 minutes in a war zone. A bomb would go off 10 miles away and they would all dive to the ground and roll around for an hour grabbing their shins. I mean seriously, talk about a delayed reaction. This guy is standing there for a good 3 seconds after the firework goes off before he grabs his face and falls to the ground like he just got sniped out. Here’s the twist this time though. Since the last firework incident, security has cracked down on what fans bring to these games. So how did they get in then? Well, a female fan loaded up some condoms with fireworks and stuffed them inside her to human mule gunpowder into the stadium. The lengths soccer fans go to support their team is unprecedented.

 

A dive for the ages folks! Firework goes off 15 feet away from the goalie and he instantly goes down grabbing his head like an IED just went off and he’s missing half his face. Oh I’m sorry, did that hurt your ears? Funny you can take 80,000 fans screaming and chanting as loud as any other sport but when someone throws a party popper onto the field you need a stretcher and an ENT doctor on spot immediately. It’s always the best when something else happens that makes the player forget about his injury. Guess your hearing isn’t that bad since you clearly heard your teammates say incoming. Unreal how this sport is tolerated.

 

Come on Iran. You call THAT a grenade? I’ve set off fireworks bigger than that thing. Aren’t grenades suppose to blow people up in like a 20 foot circumference of it? No one barely flinched! I will say, however, soccer would be so much more interesting if IEDs and grenades were used during the game…they might be onto something here.

 

Hey Flula, can you’s explains to meh vhy in the German soccer dey fall ven no one evens touches them? Vhy do dey do dis? And den dey roll avound on deh ground like dey’ve been shot by American sniper. Vhy? And vhy can no one score goal in German soccer? I feel like vatching German soccer is 90 minutes of my life I vill never get back. I don’t understand deh name soccer or German football…should be called German Vagineball ifs yous ask meh.