Goalkeeper Gives Us Classic Dive From Firework Thrown Onto Field During Game


A dive for the ages folks! Firework goes off 15 feet away from the goalie and he instantly goes down grabbing his head like an IED just went off and he’s missing half his face. Oh I’m sorry, did that hurt your ears? Funny you can take 80,000 fans screaming and chanting as loud as any other sport but when someone throws a party popper onto the field you need a stretcher and an ENT doctor on spot immediately. It’s always the best when something else happens that makes the player forget about his injury. Guess your hearing isn’t that bad since you clearly heard your teammates say incoming. Unreal how this sport is tolerated.

Soccer Player Almost Loses Hand Throwing Grenade Off Field


Come on Iran. You call THAT a grenade? I’ve set off fireworks bigger than that thing. Aren’t grenades suppose to blow people up in like a 20 foot circumference of it? No one barely flinched! I will say, however, soccer would be so much more interesting if IEDs and grenades were used during the game…they might be onto something here.

Flula, The German Nazi, Doesn’t Understand Football’s Name


Hey Flula, can you’s explains to meh vhy in the German soccer dey fall ven no one evens touches them? Vhy do dey do dis? And den dey roll avound on deh ground like dey’ve been shot by American sniper. Vhy? And vhy can no one score goal in German soccer? I feel like vatching German soccer is 90 minutes of my life I vill never get back. I don’t understand deh name soccer or German football…should be called German Vagineball ifs yous ask meh.

Female Soccer Player Lays Smack Down On Opponent


You know what? I really don’t see anything wrong here. I think this is the way soccer should be played! At least the chick wasn’t rolling around on the ground like she just got sniped out by Seal Team 6. I say let’em go and whoever gets their ass beat has to hit the showers and their team is down a player. Soccer needs an adrenaline shot and maybe this is the answer. This also made me think of what Jim Rome would say…


Tazer Soccer Rugby Sounds Like An Amazing Game


Where the hell do I sign up? Tazer ball seems like the most bad ass game I’ve ever seen. I’ve been tazed before and it straight up paralyzes the shit out of you. Mix that with tackling, hard hits, and a soccer ball on steroids and you have a new Olympic sport. Yea there might be some fatalities, severe injuires, and/or paralysis, but that’s what draws the crowds. People don’t go to NASCAR to watch the cars drive in circles. They go to watch the Dale Earnhardt’s of the world crash into cement walls at 200MPH. I think this is a much better way to go out. You hear about Rick? He went up for the ball, got tazed in the head, landed on his neck, and then run over by 5 juiceheads. He didn’t make it but damn what a bad ass.

Soccer Player Almost Decapitates Woman With Kick


The only reason this is on Youtube is because the soccer ball missed this lady’s head by the width of a piece of paper. If it were the other way around I’m pretty sure the only place you could have seen this was on Faces Of Death and Luke Rodgers would be in jail for manslaughter.

By the way, why do people still watch soccer?

Iranian Soccer Player Probably Sentenced To Death For Goal Celebration


The Iran Football Federation banned two of its players and fined them $40,000 each for “committing immoral acts” during a goal celebration.


It wouldn’t surprise me if this guy is being water-boarded with his nuts hooked up to a car battery right now. The only thing those Middle Eastern countries hate more than gay shenanigans are Americans so you can understand the mistake this guy made when he was caught three knuckles deep in his teammates ass during a televised soccer game. Here’s what I don’t understand though, the guy who gets finger blasted also gets banned and fined? I guess he’ll think twice next time before jumping on his teammates back and opening his legs like Paris Hilton.

Soccer Player Melts During Press Conference


No need to watch all 8 minutes of this clip to see what’s going on. Just keep fast forwarding and you’ll see this soccer player’s shirt go from light blue to dark grey. Is this a press conference or is this guy on trial for murder? I have no idea what kind of questions this guy was being asked but he was sweating like his wife was asking him about where he was the night before and why his dick smells like sex. Dude lost 10 lbs of water weight from talking into a microphone. Can you imagine playing poker with this guy? ‘Ah, Walter do you mind not sweating all over my new poker table? Oh, and I’m gonna go ahead and call your bluff and go all in.’ Must suck to get off the field, shower, reach the press conference in your nice clothes, and sweat more than you did when you were actually on the field. I definitely smell an antiperspirant/deodorant endorsement coming this guys way.