No one likes to be cock blocked and being the person who does the cock blocking is a total douche move. That being said, this is fuckin’ hilarious. One minute you’re making out with some chick on a huge ant hill and the next you feel like your in the sands of Afghanistan.
Nothing like the good ol’ prank when your friends try to blow you up in the shower with a mini stick of dynamite. I put that up there with the ‘cutting the brake lines gag‘ and the ‘rat poison in the oatmeal trick‘.
Being a soccer goalkeeper looks about as safe as living in the Gaza Strip these days. Just kidding, soccer players wouldn’t last 5 minutes in a war zone. A bomb would go off 10 miles away and they would all dive to the ground and roll around for an hour grabbing their shins. I mean seriously, talk about a delayed reaction. This guy is standing there for a good 3 seconds after the firework goes off before he grabs his face and falls to the ground like he just got sniped out. Here’s the twist this time though. Since the last firework incident, security has cracked down on what fans bring to these games. So how did they get in then? Well, a female fan loaded up some condoms with fireworks and stuffed them inside her to human mule gunpowder into the stadium. The lengths soccer fans go to support their team is unprecedented.
A dive for the ages folks! Firework goes off 15 feet away from the goalie and he instantly goes down grabbing his head like an IED just went off and he’s missing half his face. Oh I’m sorry, did that hurt your ears? Funny you can take 80,000 fans screaming and chanting as loud as any other sport but when someone throws a party popper onto the field you need a stretcher and an ENT doctor on spot immediately. It’s always the best when something else happens that makes the player forget about his injury. Guess your hearing isn’t that bad since you clearly heard your teammates say incoming. Unreal how this sport is tolerated.
