Tim Tebow’s TiVo Ads Are About As Comfortable As Watching A Rape Scene In A Movie

Adweek: It looks like New York Jets quarterback Tim Tebow is finally getting a starring role. Unfortunately for him, it won’t be on the field against the Jaguars this Sunday. It’s in this new ad for TiVo. The company announced in two videos last month that Tebow would be its new brand ambassador—and not just because his name sounds almost identical to its own. “He is a highly Googled, highly buzzed-about, talked-about athlete as there is in the world,” CEO Tom Rogers told Bloomberg. “We’re going to make much better use of him than the Jets have this season.” Well, have they? The new spot opens with Tebow lounging in a spare living room with two children explaining that they just got a TiVo. “Mom did a TiVo search on you … Now, whenever you’re on a show, any show, it gets recorded,” says the sister. “And then, she watches you in sloooow-mo,” chimes in the shaggy headed little brother. “My dad is not your biggest fan right now,” says the girl. “I can’t see why,” Tebow replies with a smile. “TiVo makes TV about a thousand times better,” he says in the closing voiceover. If this whole football thing doesn’t work out, he won’t have acting to fall back on, either.

 

My name’s Tim Tebow and I don’t know what to do with my hands right now and for some reason I keep shrugging my shoulders to make my talking look more animated! Jesus Christ TT, I’d say don’t quit your day job but that doesn’t seem to be working out for ya either. Watching these TiVo ads is like walking in on your parents having sex. I’m just cringing at the awkwardness of him trying to read lines and answer questions not related to football or the bible. Tim just relax! This is about the most action you’re going to see all year minus the sweat you break praying before game time. Make the best of it because this is most likely your future talking to a camera and not playing football in front of it. Tebow, makes Tivo…about a thousand times more awkward.

-Thanks to John at AdWeek for this

Tom Brady Manages To Make Uggs Look Gayer Than They Actaully Are

 

Congratulations Tom Brady! Somehow you’ve taken something gay and have made it even gayer. No rap music or awesome camera angles could even come close to saving you in this new commercial. Osama bin Laden’s friend who ratted on him didn’t even sell out as bad as you! I’m talking about the hair, the public appearances, the fashion shows, etc. Your smoking hot wife owns every aspect of your life and I’d be surprised if she doesn’t sit in the box during your games with a headset on calling plays. I remember watching the story of how you came up through Michigan and started crying about where you got drafted. No one died and you didn’t get a career ending injury, you were crying about where you got drafted! I remember when I cried in 2nd grade because I didn’t get to play on my friends soccer team and I got slapped in the face and told ‘grow up.’ Look at me now, struggling to get by in NYC but at least I’m not crying on national TV like a bitch. I hope the Dolphins destroy your reconstructed knee on Monday and Gisele has to push you around in a wheelchair.