They say a picture speaks a thousand words. Matthew Fox’s mugshot released today speaks a billion. If you haven’t heard by now, he was arrested in Cleveland, Ohio for punching a female bus driver right in the baby maker. That’s right! Jack Shepard, the chosen one, straight upper hooking Mrs. Crabtree where the sun don’t shine. I thought the story was as weird as the plot to Lost anyway, but when I saw this mugshot I couldn’t stop laughing. Just look at him! You know at this point in the police station he had those uncontrollable sniffles and hiccups. You know, the ones where snot is just oozing out of your nose like a Garbage Pail Kid and you’re just trying to concentrate on breathing. The officer taking this pic was probably beside himself. ‘Hey Jack! Grab hold of yourself and take a deep fuckin’ breath!’ Good to see he’s taking care of himself though. Probably weighs around 230 lbs according to this picture and looks like he’s been on a week long bender. And in Cleveland no less! He must have been drinking at ‘The Bar’ downtown. Appropriately named since it’s the only one there. The Lost jokes are endless so no point in taking that road but I will give money to the person who can look at this mugshot with a straight face!
DListed.com – Before we get back on Matthew Fox’s Dharma party van of pussy punches, I should let you know that mug shot isn’t really Matthew Fox and has been around for years. I know. I wish that after Matthew allegedly right hooked a trick in the tit, he wept like a strained turtle whose head is too fat to hide in its shell during his mug shot session.
CNN says that prosecutors in Cleveland have charged Dr. Jack Shepard with assault for acting like a drunk assbag when he threw fists at a (to be read in the slurry voice of a boozed bitch with a party yard long cup in hand) PAAAAAAAARTY BUUUUUS driver when she refused to let him on. The party bus driver Heather Bormann said that Matthew punched her in the legs, but his fists eventually ended up on her chichi sacks and coochie zone. Heather turned off Matthew’s punches by fisting him in the face. Matthew was detained by the police that night but quickly released. Prosecutors took pictures of the bruises that Matthew left on Heather’s arms and legs. Matthew has said nothing about this so far.
Let’s see. Jin was busted for DUI. Libby was busted for DUI. Ana Lucia was busted for DUI. Mr. Eko was busted for driving without a license. And now Matthew Fox. The LOST curse will never leave the island! The smoke monster, that dead polar bear, Sawyer, Hurley, Ben and the others better keep their fists in their ass cracks and act right on the PAAAAAARTY BUUUUS or this could be them! I’ve heard that Kate can’t get even get arrested in this town, so that bitch is safe. Lucky for her.
5 thoughts on “Matthew Fox Might Have The Funniest Mughsot I’ve Ever Seen”
Yay!!! I want your money NOW because… I can look at this ‘mugshot’ with a straight face… since it’s not Matthew Fox at all!!!
You fell for that pic of a fat John Doe that makes its rounds FOR YEARS in the Lost fandom with various mentions ROTFLMAO!
Matthew Fox has never been arrested in his life, thus zero mugshot (so far), not even on monday morning (just detained then released)…
Too bad! You can pay me via Paypal, thanks in advance for the ‘billion’ (that spoke to you, apparently, lol!)
awwww hun im sooo sorry you’re out of touch with current events. Here this might help
haha, ‘hun’, I see you don’t want to give me your money! I read all articles including the serious ones like CNN, and no, he wasn’t arrested in the legal sense, which obligatory means you have a mugshot taken! He was detained a few moments by the police station, but could quit it by taxi afterwards…
My point stand still: SO FAR, zero Fox mugshot taken (unlike what sadly happened to some of his Lost costars, like Michele Rodriguez or Daniel DaeKim, in Hawaii), and…
this poor fat guy above isn’t him, lol!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks for defending me, BTW would you mind if I punch you in the boobies?
Here’s one more that even comes with a video so you can understand it better. He was officially charged today! Mugshot to come