Last night, just before 8 p.m., a young woman jumped from the platform onto the tracks as a Brooklyn-bound F train pulled into the Delancey/Essex Street station. Passengers were quickly removed from the train (though some were stuck in the dark for up to 30 minutes) as the FDNY pulled the woman from the tracks. But on the plus side, it appears the woman will be okay? According to Animal New York, “The conductor was reportedly overheard telling her, ‘Just don’t move, okay?’ and she responded, ‘Okay.'” The FDNY tells us that the woman, whose name and age they didn’t have, was transported to Bellevue “alert and conscious.” The MTA had no further information on the incident.
Well, she didn’t really jump in front of the train because of Kim Kardashian’s divorce but it wouldn’t surprise me if she did it because she couldn’t take hearing about it in the news anymore. I was tempted myself when I saw that C-Train speeding into the station this morning, but this is exactly how my luck would go. I can’t take hearing about the Kardashians and Biebers and occupy wall street anymore so I throw myself onto the tracks of an oncoming train only to break my arm and have to pay thousands of dollars in medical bills. Life’s a bitch sometimes isn’t it?