Posts Tagged ‘Kim Kardashian’

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Guyism: Man Involuntarily Vomits Whenever He Sees Kim Kardashian Semi-Naked

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I didn’t know musicians still make music videos but I’m glad Kanye did because now we get this gem from the Franco/Rogen camp. Nailed it.

 

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OK so the woman was actually sleep walking onto the subway tracks but that doesn’t change what we’re all thinking. Listening to everyone report on this wedding is gonna make a lot of us jump on the subway tracks.

 

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HollywoodLife.com: Third times a charm for Kim Kardashian! Although her engagement ring from Kris Humphries was auctioned off on Oct. 15, Kim already has a new sparkler on her left ring finger — and it’s a stunning engagement ring from boyfriend Kanye West! Kanye rented out San Francisco’s AT&T Park and popped the question on Kim’s birthday, Oct. 21, in front of the couple’s closest family and friends — and he gave her a gigantic flawless diamond to celebrate the special occasion!  According to E!, Kanye selected a sparkler by Lorraine Schwartz for the occasion — and it’s some serious bling! Kanye got down on one knee and proposed to Kim with a 15-carat diamond, emerald-cut ring by the celebrity jeweler. Made up of a flawless diamond, the ring is just blinding – and Kim looks like she couldn’t be happier. According to 78 Universal Jewelers in NYC: “This ring is definitely worth more than the ring Kris Humphires gave her.” Inanelli Diamonds said it also cost millions of dollars! “The retail price of this ring has to be a couple of million, around six or seven to be exact. Location is key in purchasing a ring of this caliber. If someone came into a NYC jewelry store to purchase a ring of this caliber they would shell out around $3,000,000 but in Beverly Hills, this ring is at least $6,000,000 — and a man of Kanye’s status can shell out this amount easily.”

How do the lyrics go? If you ain’t no punk, holla “We want prenup!” “We want prenup!” It’s something that you need to have, cause when she leave your ass she gonna leave with half. Let’s just see how this one plays out…

Side note: There’s no one more deserving of a 15-carat ring than Kim Kardashian. And if you believe that I have a 15-carat ring to sell you.

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First and foremost let’s thank the people at The Chive for this amazing list. Well done! Second, let’s talk about how the Emma Stone one is a stretch and I don’t know if this is possible, but Joanna Angel looks more like Sarah Silverman than Sarah Silverman looks like Sarah Silverman. The Kim Kardashian one is just funny! Enjoy…

 

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For anyone who knows me knows how much I despise Kanye West. I’ll give credit to his talent but the guy is the biggest asshole in the world. I know times are tough for him since his preggo girlfriend looks like Octomom but how bad can you feel for a guy who shows up late to his own shows and then proceeds to curse out the audience who paid to be there?  That being said, him walking into a street sign with cameras rolling put a smile on my face. Fuck you Yeezy.

DailyMail:  A source told the New York Post: ‘Kim started feeling ill on the plane from Paris, and called friends as soon as she landed. ‘She was rushed to her doctor Tuesday night in tears. She thought she was having a miscarriage.’ Kim is then thought to have been discharged from the doctors at around 12.30am on Wednesday morning, after the doctor reassured her that both she and her baby were fine. However, Kim’s physician is said to have told the reality star to have slowed down with the amount of exercise she is doing. Alongside celebrity favorite trainer Tracy Anderson, Kim is believed to be working out seven days a week in a bid to keep the pregnancy weight gain under control. The source added: ‘Kim’s not respecting her pregnancy. She’s running around, working out seven days a week. ‘She’s working with two different trainers to control her weight, including Tracy Anderson and a pregnancy trainer.’ Kim previously said that while she has been working out to maintain her daily exercise regime, she knows she is going to pile on the pounds during her pregnancy. While discussing her pregnancy weight, Kim told Cosmopolitan magazine earlier this month: ”I’ll definitely be up there.’ And Kim is already struggling to accept her growing curves, with reports that her bra size has increased by four cup sizes since she fell pregnant. A source told Britain’s Heat magazine: ‘Kim loves her curves, but she’s upset that nothing in her wardrobe fits her any more.’ Kim and Kanye’s baby was conceived during a surprise trip to Italy in October.

 

God I love this. Not the miscarriage thing cause I wouldn’t wish that upon anyone other than maybe Casey Anthony but the fact that Kim is turning into a Thanksgiving Day float and she knows it! What’s the bigger challenge here, Kim keeping the weight off or keeping Kanye faithful? This dude must come home, walk into his bedroom and just go COT-DAMN! We all know that they will be the worst parents ever since I’m still not entirely sure whose ego is bigger but watching them go through these “hard times” is entertaining to say the least. I guess this explains why Kanye goes on stage, screams into the mic, and then spikes it off the ground. He’s having a baby with an Orca.

 

 

 

Do these Golden Girls not sound like 3 of the most typical Jewish gossip queens ever? This commentary is unreal and I can only imagine what Bingo night is like. Some memorable quotes:

“the end is purple!”

“two hands with space in the middle!”

“look at his nose is hittin’ her cli-toris.”

“oh, that hurts! That’s what the Greeks do!”