Posts Tagged ‘baby’

Introducing The Baby Who Laughs Like A Troll

Posted: February 24, 2015 by subwaycreatures in Funny
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Wanna smile/laugh today? Go no further than this video!

 

 

Little Kid Goes Off On Mom For Having Another Baby

Posted: August 28, 2014 by subwaycreatures in Funny
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As soon as I was done watching this I was like you know what, kid is right. Real talk right there. Growing up with siblings has always been a game of competition and Mom just added to it! That’s less food in my mouth, less attention, and less presents for me on Christmas. Fuck that noise. If I were Mom, I’d be careful next time I’m walking down the stairs.

 

 

 

And THIS is why I’m never having kids. And I’m not talking about Gunner’s reaction. I’d be that guy who’d get fucked over with 3 out of my 4 kids being girls. Shit reminds me of when my mom got preggos when I was 16. OK…I’m cool with this. I’ll train this kid and he’ll grow up a 5 star athlete in just about every sport. Teach him the ropes of how to get girls and his life will be ridiculously easy. BAM! Hey Rick, it’s a girl! Cried just about as hard as Gunner here. Not the news I was expecting to hear. Kind of like when the Cleveland Indians were up on the Red Sox 3 games to 1 and lost in game 7. Hang in there Gunner. You’re in for the ride of your life!

 

Mother Films Baby For First Smile, Kid Doesn’t Disappoint

Posted: February 28, 2014 by subwaycreatures in Funny
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You wanna constantly stick a camera in my face to capture the “first” of everything I do? Well go ahead, here’s my first ‘shit beyond my diaper into Mommy’s lap.’ Put it in the books!

Side note: Not only was that impressive but it sounded like when they implode those casinos in Las Vegas from a distance. Well done my friend!

Father Gives Questionable Reaction To Having Another Kid

Posted: February 24, 2014 by subwaycreatures in Funny
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Look at Daddy rubbing his head wondering the last time he forgot to pull out. Shortly after the camera went off Mommy was crying because of Daddy’s reaction and Daddy was crying because he’s not getting that new sports car he had been saving for.

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Drunk Baby Kicks Off Labor Day Weekend

Posted: August 30, 2013 by subwaycreatures in Funny, Weekend Kickoff
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Hope everyone is starting their long weekend this way. Have a safe one!

 

Must make you feel extra special as a child when your mother is yelling in your ear for 10 minutes about fuckin some other guy and then chest passes you to some stranger sitting across from her so she can beat another ratchet’s ass. Kid will grow up completely normal I’m sure. As of right now this has to be the leading candidate for Mother of the Year.

 

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Kids are so cute, huh? That is until they leave a trail of shit down the water slide like Haley’s Comet. Seemed like the parents looked around and just quietly walked away too. Just let nature takes it’s course and recycle that same water throughout the entire water park. Ladies and gentlemen, proof of patient zero in the water park contagion…

DailyMail:  A source told the New York Post: ‘Kim started feeling ill on the plane from Paris, and called friends as soon as she landed. ‘She was rushed to her doctor Tuesday night in tears. She thought she was having a miscarriage.’ Kim is then thought to have been discharged from the doctors at around 12.30am on Wednesday morning, after the doctor reassured her that both she and her baby were fine. However, Kim’s physician is said to have told the reality star to have slowed down with the amount of exercise she is doing. Alongside celebrity favorite trainer Tracy Anderson, Kim is believed to be working out seven days a week in a bid to keep the pregnancy weight gain under control. The source added: ‘Kim’s not respecting her pregnancy. She’s running around, working out seven days a week. ‘She’s working with two different trainers to control her weight, including Tracy Anderson and a pregnancy trainer.’ Kim previously said that while she has been working out to maintain her daily exercise regime, she knows she is going to pile on the pounds during her pregnancy. While discussing her pregnancy weight, Kim told Cosmopolitan magazine earlier this month: ”I’ll definitely be up there.’ And Kim is already struggling to accept her growing curves, with reports that her bra size has increased by four cup sizes since she fell pregnant. A source told Britain’s Heat magazine: ‘Kim loves her curves, but she’s upset that nothing in her wardrobe fits her any more.’ Kim and Kanye’s baby was conceived during a surprise trip to Italy in October.

 

God I love this. Not the miscarriage thing cause I wouldn’t wish that upon anyone other than maybe Casey Anthony but the fact that Kim is turning into a Thanksgiving Day float and she knows it! What’s the bigger challenge here, Kim keeping the weight off or keeping Kanye faithful? This dude must come home, walk into his bedroom and just go COT-DAMN! We all know that they will be the worst parents ever since I’m still not entirely sure whose ego is bigger but watching them go through these “hard times” is entertaining to say the least. I guess this explains why Kanye goes on stage, screams into the mic, and then spikes it off the ground. He’s having a baby with an Orca.

 

 

 

Welp, put it on the list. A blown out asshole during child birth is just another reason I’m glad I have a dick. Have a nice day.