And THIS is why I’m never having kids. And I’m not talking about Gunner’s reaction. I’d be that guy who’d get fucked over with 3 out of my 4 kids being girls. Shit reminds me of when my mom got preggos when I was 16. OK…I’m cool with this. I’ll train this kid and he’ll grow up a 5 star athlete in just about every sport. Teach him the ropes of how to get girls and his life will be ridiculously easy. BAM! Hey Rick, it’s a girl! Cried just about as hard as Gunner here. Not the news I was expecting to hear. Kind of like when the Cleveland Indians were up on the Red Sox 3 games to 1 and lost in game 7. Hang in there Gunner. You’re in for the ride of your life!
DailyMail: A source told the New York Post: ‘Kim started feeling ill on the plane from Paris, and called friends as soon as she landed. ‘She was rushed to her doctor Tuesday night in tears. She thought she was having a miscarriage.’ Kim is then thought to have been discharged from the doctors at around 12.30am on Wednesday morning, after the doctor reassured her that both she and her baby were fine. However, Kim’s physician is said to have told the reality star to have slowed down with the amount of exercise she is doing. Alongside celebrity favorite trainer Tracy Anderson, Kim is believed to be working out seven days a week in a bid to keep the pregnancy weight gain under control. The source added: ‘Kim’s not respecting her pregnancy. She’s running around, working out seven days a week. ‘She’s working with two different trainers to control her weight, including Tracy Anderson and a pregnancy trainer.’ Kim previously said that while she has been working out to maintain her daily exercise regime, she knows she is going to pile on the pounds during her pregnancy. While discussing her pregnancy weight, Kim told Cosmopolitan magazine earlier this month: ”I’ll definitely be up there.’ And Kim is already struggling to accept her growing curves, with reports that her bra size has increased by four cup sizes since she fell pregnant. A source told Britain’s Heat magazine: ‘Kim loves her curves, but she’s upset that nothing in her wardrobe fits her any more.’ Kim and Kanye’s baby was conceived during a surprise trip to Italy in October.
God I love this. Not the miscarriage thing cause I wouldn’t wish that upon anyone other than maybe Casey Anthony but the fact that Kim is turning into a Thanksgiving Day float and she knows it! What’s the bigger challenge here, Kim keeping the weight off or keeping Kanye faithful? This dude must come home, walk into his bedroom and just go COT-DAMN! We all know that they will be the worst parents ever since I’m still not entirely sure whose ego is bigger but watching them go through these “hard times” is entertaining to say the least. I guess this explains why Kanye goes on stage, screams into the mic, and then spikes it off the ground. He’s having a baby with an Orca.
Minus the props, I have a couple friends like this. Old as fuck still getting pampered at home. Not sure they go as far as having their psycho mothers change their diapers but let’s just say they are still dependent on the little things. This show has gotta be one of the scariest shows on TV. Some of the other stories they do are bad but this has got to be the most horrifying one I’ve seen. Straight up reminds me of Francis from Pee Wee’s Big Adventure. Guy has issues beyond therapy and he shouldn’t be allowed out of his crib. Perfect girl for this guy? Courtney Stodden only because I feel like they are mentally on the same level and she clearly likes creeps. For the second part of the video click here.
Most disturbing line: I feel like when I’m wearing a diaper, it’s a constant hug from Mommy.
Well look at what I found! Imagine looking down and there’s a baby in your pants? This has to have been the calmest, most laid back child birth ever. No pushing or pain. Just ‘Hunny, our kid just fell out.’ The only thing I can honestly say ‘thank god’ for is the fact that she was sitting down. She’s clearly so loose that the kid woulda just fell out onto the floor. Hopefully they got to the hospital safely (as long as the driver stopped filming) and the baby is OK.
Side Note: How about in 10 years when this kid has the awkwardness of watching himself get spit out of his mom’s vagina on the Whitestone Bridge on Youtube. Love to watch the ‘reaction video’ to that.
Mariah Yeater’s account of the night Justin Bieber impregnated her:
“Immediately, it was obvious that we were mutually attracted to one another, and we began to kiss. Shortly thereafter, Justin Bieber suggested that I go with him to a private place where we could be alone. I agreed to go with him and on the walk to a private area, he told me he wanted to make love to me and this was going to be his first time.”
At this point the two went to a bathroom. “We went inside and immediately his personality changed drastically. He began touching me and repeatedly said he wanted to fuck the shit out of me. At the time I asked him to put a condom for protection, but he insisted that he did not want to. In his own words, he said that because it was his first time he wanted to feel everything. He was on top of me with my legs around him. At the time I was on top of some type of shelf. The sexual intercourse itself was brief, lasting only approximately 30 seconds.”
I love the line where she says “it was obvious that we were mutually attracted to one another.” Just look at her face, I mean how can you resist THAT? Especially Justin Bieber who could probably bang any chick he wants. If Bieber lost his virginity to this chick and not Selena Gomez or even that Argentinian model then I’ve lost faith in all mankind. I’m pretty sure that little shit’s nuts haven’t even dropped yet so don’t go with the story that he wanted to lose his virginity to you and it was over in 30 seconds. Likely story whore. Go on ‘Maury’, take a paternity test, and in a couple weeks I guarantee you we see Bieber doing this dance across the stage…
According to Hollywood Life, an Internet rumor is going around suggesting Ashton Kutcher is the father of his ex January Jones‘ baby because it’s pretty much a given at this point he either hates Demi Moore‘s vagina or it’s officially morphed into a Sarlacc pit as they are wont to do over time. Anyway, let me just shoot this rumor down with my extensive knowledge of January Jones if extensive knowledge means I dubbed her kid “Revenge Baby” and called it a day: If there’s one thing January Jones hates more than anything – I’m talking even more than not having a child out of spite. – it’s Ashton Kutcher. The guy spent their whole relationship telling her she’d never make it as an actress, except one of them is on the critically acclaimed Mad Men (For the sake of argument, just ignore everything I said about her in X-Men: First Class.), and the other just replaced Charlie Sheen on a sitcom geared towards people who like Applebee’s. And even if that anger manifested itself into a night of unprotected hate banging, I can almost guarantee January would’ve blown up his marriage to make up for all those times he negged her into the sack because I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, January Jones loves revenge. She shoots it out of her uterus.
Yes! I called it. Right after that slut called out Ashton I KNEW shit like this was gonna start coming out. It’s gonna be another Tiger Woods all over again and next up, January Jones. Ashton you better have Tiger’s PR team on hand cause shit is about to get ugly. Why else would Jones be so tight lipped about who the father is? In 5 years it won’t matter if we still don’t know cause the kid will look exactly like him, have a horrible acting career, and marry/cheat on a woman twice his age. The cats out of the bag Ashton!
Nevermind the fact that this baby looks like one of the aliens that were hovering over NYC last night, but this is amazing. I always thought you were suppose to die if you simultaneously sneezed and farted. Guess not or maybe this baby really is an alien…
SubwayCreatures 