The Waterfall Swing Has To Be The Most Pointless Creation Ever

 

OK I can understand if it’s a really hot day out how this would be relevant, but what the fuck is the point of this thing. This invention is as useful as Stephen Hawking’s legs. Why is water even involved if it doesn’t get you wet?? And to think there are countries with no running water and shit like this exists.

Girl Pisses Herself In Subway; Proceeds To Shower

 

99% of me believes this is staged because let’s be honest, who carries soap, a gallon of water, towels and sandals in their bag “just in case they piss themselves and need to shower.” Worst acting ever and the lengths people will go to make a viral video are crazy.

Side note: The real part of this that blows my mind is how ashy this bitches feet are. A bottle of lotion per foot could MAYBE do the trick.

Black Guy Hoses Down Racist Lady In Wheelchair

 

So I guess this is what we call a white person drive-by? Very nonchalantly coast by yelling racist comments? But holy shit do I love how this guy handles this! Just hoses crazy legs down like a dog that just shit where it wasn’t suppose to. I only wish the hose was longer so he could really drown tubby right there in the street. Just another day in Compton I guess. And who waters their lawn with holy water? I’m assuming that’s what it was since this fat bitch was miraculously cured when she got doused with it. She got up faster than a sacked QB in a 2 minute drill. Fuckin white people, I tell ya!

Hurricane Irene Reporter Eats Shit…Literally

 

MYFOXNY.COM – A local news reporter from Washington, D.C. ended up getting covered in what is probably the remnants of raw sewage as he delivered live hurricane reports from Ocean City, Md. WTTG-TV reporter Tucker Barnes was providing live updates for stations around the country as a wall of what he described as sea foam poured over him. Barnes was on the boardwalk as Hurricane Irene hit the coast of Maryland. He noted that he had immersed himself in organic material.  That “organic material” was most likely the effects of raw sewage pouring into the water during the storm. “It doesn’t taste great,” he said. He said it had a sandy consistency and added, “I can tell you first-hand, it doesn’t smell great.” The foam is often a toxic mix of pollution and cyanobacteria. 60 mph wind gust sprayed the toxic mix across the reporter and the boardwalk and coated buildings. Bubbles and foam in the ocean can be caused by several other things, including oils from decomposing animals.

While every single news agency out there was trying to report on the ‘catastrophic’ damage Irene was causing, we were delivered this FOX News gem. We knew Hurricane Irene was going to shit on us, but I’m sure Tucker Barnes didn’t take that literally. I threw up when I first watched 2 girls, 1 cup and I’d say this isn’t too far off. Tucker is just repeatedly getting slapped in the mouth with these flying foam shits and giving play by play analysis of what it feels like, tastes like, and smells like. I believe there’s an old saying, “if it smells like shit, then it’s probably shit.” I love the ‘chief meteorologist’ back at the station that told him it’s some kind of organic matter. Dude must be laughing his ass off right now cause when he said ‘organic matter’ this is exactly what he meant. I don’t feel bad for our FOX friend here but I REALLY feel bad for whoever he is staying in that hotel room with. ‘Storm or not, Tucker, ain’t no way you staying in this room!’
Side note: Does anyone else ever notice weather reporters holding on to objects for their lives as if they are getting sucked into an F5 tornado and then someone casually walks by in the background?